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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2008-04-11 09:00 PM

Timshel

I would and always will
give you all of this
unconditionally,
spoken from the heart
in softest breath

Timshel

Your dreams are yours
no need to ask permission
to do so much good so well,
but since you inspired, then inquired,

Timshel

Choice becomes just this
and there is no need to beg,
let alone inquire twice,
as it has already been given
gifted, as it were, by a higher power:

Timshel.

Were you to lay your finger
upon my cheek, then draw it
where you will, speaking naught of
what you wish but allowing me, only, to
read the lines surrounding your eyes,
there would need be one word
uttered…

Timshel

~*~

© Karilea Rilling Jungel
11 April 2008

As some of you might know, Timshel is a Hebrew word for the biblical meaning of “Thou mayest” which, put as simply as I understand it, is the ancient meaning for choice.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2008-04-12 07:22 PM

I didn't know that. Always a good thing to learn a good thing.

But I'm a little stuck here:

quote:
Timshel

I would and always will
give you all of this
unconditionally,
spoken from the heart
in softest breath

I like this part.

quote:
Were you to lay your finger
upon my cheek, then draw it
where you will, speaking naught of
what you wish but allowing me, only, to
read the lines surrounding your eyes,
there would need be one word
uttered…

and this part. It has a sensual quality to it, but I'm stuck with the other two parts. I just don't see how they add to the piece.

Timshel

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2008-04-12 07:33 PM

Keeping in kind that if you submitted the translation of "thou mayest" for each time Timshel is uttered, does that help?

I was merely giving a brief idea of how the word could allow a greater giving to each little scenario.

Everything is a "choice".

Or at least, that was what I was trying to impart.

Thanks, Brad!

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

3 posted 2008-04-12 07:59 PM

I agree that everything is a choice.

Yet, how often do you here things phrased as if they weren't?

It might be interesting to put those phrases, the ones that deny choice in a variation of this poem.

Example:

student:

"I can't believe that I can write blank verse"

teacher:

"You just did."

timshel

See what I'm trying to get at?

Sorry, if I'm being terse here. I have to go play with my kid.

timshel

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2008-04-12 08:49 PM

Ok, you've lost me a little here on the absence of choice, i.e.,

quote:
It might be interesting to put those phrases, the ones that deny choice in a variation of this poem.

But right now it's far more important to play with your child, so I'll go find a way to get out of this obtuse bubble I seem to be in, but you make sure you bring back a huge pin with you, in case I'm in need of a way to burst out.

And hug that baby for me!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2008-04-13 02:55 PM

Hmm.

thinking

I think the last verse ought to be your first.

I'd follow up with other examples just as sensual (or is it sensuous?) and repeat that lovely verse again at the end. Timshel says it all for you, and explaining it by using "choice" isn't really necessary.

But that last verse is authentic and lovely.

I think re-writing verses of other temptations would lend well to your theme.

If you wanted to keep it scripturally based, you could go through the seven deadly sins, even.

This has so much potential I wanna steal it.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2008-04-13 03:51 PM

Thank you for the input, serenity. Much appreciated.

With your knowledge base, I feel you would probably give much more presence to the word than I have, and I will look forward to your offering[s]. I just find the word timshel to be empowering in so many wonderful ways.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2008-04-13 05:14 PM

Sissie....I have to agree that the quote below is poignant and real. In fact, I think it is a poem by itself. The rest confuses. It's ambiguous because I can't grab on to who "you" is. In the quote below you give it imagery enough for me to say, ah ha. See?

Were you to lay your finger
upon my cheek, then draw it
where you will, speaking naught of
what you wish but allowing me, only, to
read the lines surrounding your eyes,
there would need be one word
uttered…

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