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Critical Analysis #2
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Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville

0 posted 2008-04-01 04:57 PM


Under the hammer of a hearths star
Both love and lust is beaten out,
Forged by the urge of unbridled hands
And drawn through the tension of the heat.

Where bellows heave and the chime of rings
Spark to the embers of an anvil heart,
The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice
Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs.

[This message has been edited by Grinch (04-01-2008 05:48 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 Grinch - All Rights Reserved
Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
1 posted 2008-04-01 06:29 PM


Under the hammer of a hearths star (9)
Both love and lust is beaten out, (8)
Forged by the urge of unbridled hands (9)
And drawn through the tension of the heat.(9)

Where bellows  heave and the chime of rings (9)
Spark to the embers of an anvil heart, (10)
The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice (10)
Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs.(10)

What is the style? (if i got them right)

Under the hammer of a hearths star
Both love and lust is beaten out,
Forged by the urge of unbridled hands
And drawn through the tension of the heat.

Love and lust went through trials to get into shape or shall I say, a suitable condition.
Who was the hearths star?

Where bellows heave and the chime of rings
Spark to the embers of an anvil heart,
The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice
Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs.

But the Vice of an anvil heart with the tongs  stopped the beating...Did this mean that the maturation of love was stopped?

Or I didn't get it?

[This message has been edited by Seoulair (04-01-2008 07:05 PM).]

Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
2 posted 2008-04-01 06:47 PM


It started off as syllabic then turned free in the edit simply because I preferred the sound.

Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
3 posted 2008-04-01 07:05 PM



Here it is without the deletions:

Under the hammer fall of a hearths star
Both love and lust is fired and beaten out,
Then forged by the urge of unbridled hands
It’s drawn out through the tension of the heat.

Where the bellows heave and the chime of rings
Spark to the embers of an anvil heart,
The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice
Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs.

Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
4 posted 2008-04-01 07:09 PM



quote:
Who was the hearths star?


Wayland Smith

Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
5 posted 2008-04-01 07:13 PM


Under the hammer fall of a hearths star
Both love and lust is fired and beaten out,

How interesting it gave totally different meaning.

Why did you do this?  I simply could not think  that you deleted some words.

If you want to tell me why the procedure?

The poem itself is, I like the tune of it.

Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
6 posted 2008-04-01 07:30 PM


Thank you Grinch. I googled Wayland Smith which was a very interesting tale. But this poem was not sole about it? otherwise you wound mention the wing he made. (and others)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayland_Smith

Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
7 posted 2008-04-01 07:37 PM



Every blacksmith is Wayland Smith in the eyes of their lover.

Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
8 posted 2008-04-01 08:11 PM


Do you want to say something about your poem?
(I'd love to read)

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
9 posted 2008-04-01 08:28 PM


Uh--

hearth?

I feel like I'm walking through Old Town, Magic Mountain.

I have no doubt that was intentional, but at a loss as to why.


Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
10 posted 2008-04-02 10:20 AM



It was totally accidental Brad, an unfortunate consequence of trying to squeeze three themes into an eight line poem. I’ll make a note to try and re-word the first line the next time I edit it.

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