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Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville

0 posted 2008-02-07 06:09 PM



In a moral dilemma
when your left looks right
and up brings you down
imagine what Jesus would do.
Then do the opposite
in the same cool beard.
you’ll lose followers,
gain a few flowers
but be way out in front.


© Copyright 2008 Grinch - All Rights Reserved
TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
1 posted 2008-02-07 06:42 PM


Dear Grinch, I like this one and it has profound meanings. But what is the style?
A free verse? yes, a free verse.  

I read several times and I love those expression
when your left looks right
and up brings you down

beautiful.

I'll write more later

chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
2 posted 2008-02-08 06:37 AM


Grinch, I like your poem,  

I would drop imagine.

When I read line 8 my mind plays a trick on me and I read flowers as followers. I wonder does any body else ?  I am not saying it’s wrong.


effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
3 posted 2008-02-08 01:47 PM


Chops, happens to me too, especially if you read it 2 or 3 times on the run.again,I am not saying it is wrong or intend it as criticism. If anything, it makes you re read it & think about the words/phrases meaning etc, so on that basis, it's all good to me....!

John

chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
4 posted 2008-02-09 09:46 AM


Thanks John, I thought it was just me until I read your post and that inspired me to check it out some:

“ Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae “


chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
5 posted 2008-02-09 09:59 AM


Grinch, let me explain how I found out my mind was tricking me :

I was going to suggest that you make lines 7 and 8 diametrical with some thing like this:

You'll lose followers
You'll gain followers

That is when I realized the word was "flowers"

I didn't see it when I read the poem , only when I typed it out.

[This message has been edited by chopsticks (02-09-2008 11:49 AM).]

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
6 posted 2008-02-15 03:15 PM


quote:
Matthew 21:18-22 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain
[A Public Domain Bible] [KJV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]

18Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.

19And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.

20And when the disciples saw it, they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!

21Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.


?

TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
7 posted 2008-02-15 05:11 PM


Poet Grinch is an Atheist. So when he talked about moral dilemma together with "What Jesus would do." he was in a mood of criticizing the hypocrisy of certain Christians or certain things.   He was kind of judging that the subject not only lose followers but after death, there would be no rewards...The flowers are way out in front...not even belong the tomb.
This is how I understand this poem.
Poet Grinch?


Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
8 posted 2008-02-16 07:05 AM



Then again it could just be a backward glance or criticism of the hippie revolution.


chopsticks
Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888
The US,
9 posted 2008-02-16 09:03 AM


Ouch, was I suckered again.

I saw the poem as someone trying to solve a problem using Kentucky windage and not

logic.

I guess it was the use of the phrase  “Cool beard “

However, I like the backward glance scenario the best.



jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
10 posted 2008-02-17 02:40 PM


Grinch:

quote:
Then again it could just be a backward glance or criticism of the hippie revolution.


That's pretty much what I got from it, but I didn't see it so firmly rooted in the past.  "WWJD" has always sounded like such a terribly presumptuous phrase to me, but fortunately the fad seems to have passed (for now).  But I read this as a criticism of any deceptively easy formula purported to solve moral dilemmas, and you picked an easy formula for your readers to recognize - then turned it on its ear.

I think you did a fine job on the poem.  My only nit is with the final three lines.  I couldn't decide whether the concise ending worked better for me than a more developed ending would.  "Lost followers" I get (pulling an anti-WWJD would probably cause just that) and I get the flowers, but I'm not sure I see how this gets the trend-bucker ahead.

Unless that is the point.

Anyway, liked the poem, Grinch.  Thanks for the posting.

Jim

Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
11 posted 2008-02-17 06:30 PM



Jim,

quote:
but I'm not sure I see how this gets the trend-bucker ahead.


It doesn’t it gets him “way out” with some “front”.




jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
12 posted 2008-02-23 12:13 PM


quote:
It doesn’t it gets him “way out” with some “front”.


Been thinking of this on and off for the past week.  Do you mean like a "Symbionese Liberation Front"?

Jim

Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
13 posted 2008-02-23 01:58 PM


Jim,

An outward, often feigned, appearance or manner:

To put up a good front.

Way out man.




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