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Date not New York girl
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Date not New York girl |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
If rain could drain down all sky's sorrow and lightening shade all stars' sadness then why we need to sit here today wet from toes up to head and water is dripping along my neck. watched by thousands passing eyes? I am sobering to my wine a world I dreamed as pure, strength and fine. when he comments on the piano player as if to hint that I sang the wrong note again. Did moon witnessed what he said "I didn't say it" with his head holding so high he lied. I knew that he lied. Tell me Why he denied? I turned and sighed and I hid my present I packed myself in the bag of my heart I went back to New York to pick up my life. Why, now, twenty years later, I am so heavily in debt? "Never date a girl of New York, because she takes no nonsense. ............." A man with few words is priceless but I hate so much his silence. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
It was a real life story. Jane and Joe were good friends. Then there were more than friendship. Joe told one of his best friend that He liked Jane. And then the friend told Jane. Jane asked a date with Joe in a night with bright moon and prepared "I love you too". But when Jane asked Joe about such "i like you " comments. Joe denied. Jane was so angry that she said "remember this night, you will regret for the rest of life." and she left. She moved back to the city. His first thought was that she betrayed him as discrimination (city vs farm). So he vowed that he would never marry any girl from the place (big city) where Jane was from. She was totally misunderstood and blamed by all mutual friends. When she was in a life threatening situation, the first thing she thought was to make her heart clear to Joe. 20 years later, both married, she met him in reunion. After listening to her for the 40th times, I encouraged her to make this clear. She should not bury the misunderstanding with her. ( I regret now) A raining day, they went to a restaurant and with the help of the wine, she cried over the topic and everything was clear. That poor man said" I have always wanted to marry you." (silly, why don't he say so in the first place under the moon? I can not understand him at all). I met him once. My friend asked me to hand-deliver a letter to him...with my absented minded-age 19er I saw him smoking and reading the letter and looking at the floor and tears dropping down. I told him to leave her alone with the knowledge of her family situation. Poems in which kind of style can truly describe the romance and the sadness of their life? I am not a good story teller neither a good poet. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Great story great poem. Tom, I remember it well, I was their waiter that rainy afternoon . I recommended the Chablis. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Thank you Chops. Life sometimes is just like this. People get trapped on their own carelessness.  |
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beautyincalvary Member
since 2006-07-13
Posts 98 |
If rain could drain down all sky's sorrow and lightening shade all stars' sadness then why we need to sit here today wet from toes up to head and water is dripping along my neck. watched by thousands passing eyes? I love this. Even like the tense changes. It's beautiful. I am sobering to my wine a world I dreamed as pure, strength and fine. when he comments on the piano player as if to hint that I sang the wrong note again. This, too. Did moon witnessed what he said "I didn't say it" with his head holding so high he lied. I knew that he lied. Tell me Why he denied? I'm not buying the last line here. I turned and sighed and I hid my present I packed myself in the bag of my heart I went back to New York to pick up my life. Why, now, twenty years later, I am so heavily in debt? "Never date a girl of New York, because she takes no nonsense. ............." A man with few words is priceless but I hate so much his silence. You have such a way with words, mixed with English being your second language, it's so beautiful. |
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