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Critical Analysis #2
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The Charioteer
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Charioteer |
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Yejun Junior Member
since 2007-11-21
Posts 49 |
I do not need this cart, these golden wheels, they mock what I am and what I have done. I am in permanent stasis, a warrior: I answered and I murdered and then I married. Painted by another, darkness rules where my pierced eyes once bled; you can see that I cannot mourn myself or you, or my wife and mother, but the ulim and thulim remain. My pets, black and white riddlers, rest eternally and reveal the secret: that there was not one question but two. I stand before you in religious significance but it is not for that that I do not move. I am in stasis, the slave of sycophants, but you are as powerful in your giving and in your seeing as I am powerless to ask: What task is worth taking, what path do I travel? The Charioteer |
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| © Copyright 2007 Yejun - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Well now, wow. I'm happy to see someone else take their inspiration from Tarot--and yet, it's going to vex me to try to critique the poem while I disregard everything I thought I knew about the card's interpretation. I'll try very hard to focus on the poem. *frown* I wish I weren't out of ink. (I'd like to print this one.) I have to go cook supper, and I'd love to think about this while I do. Looks like I'm gonna be hopping back and forth again.  I'll be back! Thanks Yejun, for not scoffing at the idea simply because some consider Tarot a parlour game. |
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Yejun Junior Member
since 2007-11-21
Posts 49 |
Brad helped a bit here. He has this distinction between types and tokens. "The Charioteer" is a type of Tarot card. The picture I've linked to is the token. The token is what I'm writing about. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Huh? Then ask Brad to get in here and explain it to me? "types" and "tokens"??? Um, I don't get that. And I've been reading both Tarot and poetry for a long, long, time. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh...and? I realize that if Brad mentored you a bit with this'n, he might not feel comfy critiquing it. I just honestly don't understand what is meant by "token" and "type". But if he explained it well, YOU can tell me. (My roast is simmering in gravy, so I'm good for now.) |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
7 7 7 7 7 7 7 There are 7 sevens, right? There is one type: 7 There are seven tokens of 7. Got it? The idea was to write about the picture right in front of you, not the idea of the Tarot charioteer. [This message has been edited by Brad (12-09-2007 09:36 PM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
But don't I have to critique Yejun's idea? Um, like it or not, Yejun presented me with an interpretation of the picture in the form of a poem. So the poem must be addressed as the priority--witches what I intend to do.  Just because it is Tarot, I don't intend to approach critique differently. There have been challenges before that utilized paintings and images as inspiration, but I do hope that it is understood that I do have to put aside what would otherwise be pre-conceived notions on my part. I find this challenge extremely interesting because of that. Fresh eyes, yanno? I'd like to thank Yejun for thoughtfully NOT placing the image first and foremost in his presentation, too. (A mistake I made and will not repeat in this forum.) So okay, I'm still a little confused--are we arguing for the same side?  (I would really like to get on with the critique...um, "soon".)  |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Of course, of course. The token/type distinction was for his benefit, not yours. Essentially, the only thing I said was look at some pictures, choose one and write about the picture (what pops into your head as you examine it) and not the idea or its relationship to Tarot as a whole. It's not an essay, it's a poem. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wasn't ignoring this. My computer crashed.  Now I'm gonna have to think all over gain.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ooooooooooookay. I think my internet connection is more reliable now... A series of couplets, and the first thing I noticed was the choices of end-stop lines and some enjambment. (That's about as technical as I can get, I'm afraid.) I've got a feeling this one is over my head. The tone is set in your opening, mocking what mocks your subject. "I do not need this cart, these golden wheels, they mock what I am and what I have done." So our hero is feeling a bit inglorious, here. Thwarted ambitions...? "I am in permanent stasis, a warrior:" This reminds me of the plight of many veterans, who, having been trained to fight a war, knows not what to do when there the war is over. I get stuck in the following line--as enjambment is utilized past the couplet... " I answered and I murdered and then I married. Painted by another, darkness rules where my pierced eyes once bled;" "I married." This is akin to an emotionally distanced list of life events. "Painted by another, darkness rules where my pierced eyes once bled;" Now this is dark and rather ominous, and I'm confused by it. (This is my interpretion of the poem as distanced from the card--I may give you two interpetations, just because I find it interesting that although I did offer up a poetry challenge, you opted to select your own. That's interesting in itself." I apologize for being so late in getting back to this, as well. Maybe you could help my confusion by giving me some input on what I have from this so far? So be patient with me while I ask my usual questions, please? Is this a metrical based form? I am curious for a few reasons. It is emotionally rather spartan--which is either very clever consider the subject matter, or a happy accident? Where'd ya go Yejun? Come back and help me out. I'd like to understand this one properly. |
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Yejun Junior Member
since 2007-11-21
Posts 49 |
Hmmm, if I mention Greek myth, would that help? Oh, and the you is you, the person looking at the card (or the poem). |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
If I called you a smart ass, you wouldn't take that as a personal attack, would you? In light of recent events, I should say that although I haven't known you long, I hope you know that I meant that affectionately, and with admiration for the clever. |
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Yejun Junior Member
since 2007-11-21
Posts 49 |
No, it's about the only thing of mine that is smart. |
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