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Critical Analysis #2
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Woman, The Great Silliness
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Woman, The Great Silliness |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
You have circles among circles and Between circles Large and small They Made you noble Why do you still confine Your heart to such a point Of waiting To get shot through? [This message has been edited by TomMark (12-05-2007 10:26 PM).] |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
The original title of this poem was " Woman, the Great Silliness ” Tom I thought you were writing about the spiral galaxies , how pleased I was to find out you were writing about the noblest thing in the universe. "To get shot through?" I'm thinking black hole. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
How nice that My little poem make you think large, Chops  This is about some of my friends who were on phone with me for hours to complain about life. Tom |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
“This is about some of my friends who were on phone with me for hours to complain about life” Tom, you were on the phone for hours ? Of course it is a 110 percent OK by me ,but are you woman hear me roar ? I am pro woman and never think to much about gender. If I called you a lass, it would be a high complement coming from me. But now I know what your poems means, girls talking in circles. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
I pro woman too, Chops.  It is like shooting target. |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I absolutely love this poem... I can't find a single thing to critique about it. The images are beautiful, not overdone. But I'm not sure about "the great silliness." You poem is very graceful, and 'silliness' make me think of childishness, frivoloity, humor... which is fine, and I see what you were going for, but it just seems to clash to me. Hope this helped. |
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Yejun Junior Member
since 2007-11-21
Posts 49 |
I don't know. The great silliness, in its self-referential deprecation, contains a nobility. I'm left wanting to hear more. Is that a criticism? I don't know. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Tom, I am not sure about this one. How are we to interpret this as talking about a conversation on a phone, let alone a conversation with a woman, from the words of the poem itself? I think it needs to be made a lot less vague to express those things to the reader. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Dear Sir Essorant, My friends "bothers" me with their matters. I was quite worried then I had the shooting Target in my mind. ...wow, it is just like them. Tom [This message has been edited by TomMark (12-05-2007 09:04 PM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Dear Tom, I rarely know how to interpret others poetry than by heart, but I read yours with some satisfaction; especially on reading the after-thoughts of yourself as well as the comments and responses of others. I smile at all of it, in a self-effacing way, because I have to agree. It does seem silly, the way women talk around in circles, not simply to hear their own voice, but to have a strong backboard upon which to throw the ball of conversation against, again and again, until the catching of the words themselves make all of the difference in the argument, choice, decision, plan, agenda, etc. So, while I would opt for a different title in some respects, after all is said and done? I wouldn't change the title, nor the poetry itself. However, I would probably lose the afterwords of "The original title of this poem was 'Woman, the Great Silliness.'" It seems redundant, seeing as how that was the title, itself. Thank you! |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Thank you all. Hush, the helplessness to their frustration made me choose the word "silliness". Tom |
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