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Critical Analysis #2

The heart in common

Bill Shirnberg
Member

since 2007-10-28

Posts 50
USA AOK

0 posted 2007-11-10 07:39 PM

As we all spin the center
around we revolve
has the time come to question?
the questions resolve

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-11-11 03:40 AM

see this is why you don't give up on writing, this was just simply something to think about Bill great words
Krysti

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 2007-11-22 08:42 AM

quote:
As we all spin the center

I love this first line, but I don't think you mean it the same way I take it. The idea of the center, the middle, the moderate is almost always characterized as the best way or method.

It is not, but we find ourselves stuck in compromises that force us into that position.
As a result, we have to 'spin the center' line in order to even be heard.

quote:
around we revolve

I'm lost in your syntax, I don't get what's going on here.

quote:
has the time come to question?

Drop the question mark as this and the next line are fine together.

quote:
the question's resolve

But this is just the beginning. What is the question? Obscurity is often used in place of depth until, I don't know, someone like William Shatner comes in asks simple questions about the question. This is just the beginning, where are you going here?

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