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Critical Analysis #2
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blister
Junior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 18
here, elsewhere

0 posted 2007-08-17 02:10 PM


beneath our "be back soon"s
we'll file into flowcharts
and escalate into thirsty rhythms
that collect on wooden doors

the contrast that will seperate
what is and what is not
colonizes the smallest bones
that hold our feet together
to expose itself to the mud
and recount its weight in pounds

some stillness is understanding
this dancing is our discovery
while we share exaggerations
and point out tendencies

so it can rearange our day
into thirty-minute shows
catapult regressions
relapse to imperfections

we stand here uninspired
scents swallowed by lye
singing grunts and moans
blocking every view


-mr blister

© Copyright 2007 travis cummings - All Rights Reserved
guyoverthere
Member
since 2007-08-12
Posts 58

1 posted 2007-08-17 02:18 PM


As Jennifer mentioned to me, take your time posting.  Give the good people here time to review your stuff.

Also, be sure to proofread your stuff.  I noticed a spelling error in your first post and you misspelled 'exaggerations' here.

I'm still looking at the first one.

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