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Snow Leopards
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Snow Leopards |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Chasing After Snow Leopards with Schaller and Matthiessen. Have you been to Thailand, Nepal, Bhutan, or Ireland? Seen Tezcatlipoca? Eaten Almond Roca? Strewn marigolds at Varanasi? Been to Angkor? Wat, too lazy? Been to Paradise with Milton? Ate the middle from a Stilton? If none of these apply to you, I say “Hush,” until some do! I swear, the Devil makes me write these things!  Best, Jim |
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| © Copyright 2007 Jim Aitken - All Rights Reserved | |||
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
"Wat" was inspired (whoever he might be). Gud job. M |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Moonbeam -- You're one in a million, which, I suspect, is the ratio of the number of people who know wat's up! I think I'm going through some kind of a mind-shift. Who in the heck remembers that Schaller and Matthiessen did go in search of the snow leopard, that Tezcatlipoca is the Mayan Jaguar God discovered in the center of the main pyramid at Chichen Itza? etc. And folds these arcana into a bit of light verse? Lunacy. This morning I found myself recalling Hokusai's magnificent "The Great Wave Off Kanagawa" and came up with the notion that he was casting swirls before pines. High lunacy. I have no idea of what this current brain-adventure is about. I'm just taking the trip, sharing some of it, keeping a low profile, guns at the ready... Don't want to faint with damned praise, etc. etc. Aaargh! Jim |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Once again I've had to resort to using "the Google" to figure out what you're talking about. But that's my fault, not yours. Keep on casting those "swirls before pines". We just might catch on to your drift.  |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Indeed this is a dandy, Some endnotes would be handy! |
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sampo Member
since 2007-02-25
Posts 54oz |
Ocean - Imo, most good poems have an undercurrent, something that blindsides the earnest reader into wondering - maybe they also meant this? But first, there has to be that immediate appeal, something to drag the reader beneath the surface. In this regard, this is where I feel this poem falls short. This piece comes off as an itinerary of people/ places, devoid of imagery, personality, perspective. Tools vital to connect me with a poem. If you're familiar with IBPC, there is a poet, i feel, who may be worth exploring, Mojave aka Bernard Henrie. He hangs out almost exclusively in splashhall poetry, and often tackles grand themes, yet maintains the personal aspects (also came second in IBPC poem of the year, no small feat) and is always willing to give in-depth crit's to poet's of all styles. ( in a far-less condescending manner then those scientists over at everypoet.) far more knowledgeable, intuitive than i. regards, sampo. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
That is true. I think profoundness is not just alluding to something, and expecting the reader to do the delving, but actually taking the reader into important depths itself. I'm not into this "allude and run, and expect the reader to do all the rest" business. |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Sigh, Sampo! The poem is a joke, self characterized above as "light verse" and "lunacy." Splashhall seems not to be accepting registrations at the moment, so I can't view Mojave, but it looks like a great site and I'll go back. As to allusions, I once wrote a poem which contained an allusion to "Ornette Coleman's white plastic sax" and was promptly excoriated for making "racist remarks," and denigrating a jazz master." Both comments seemed off the mark to me, since Ornette Coleman did play a white plastic sax -- and the bagpipes as well. My thought is that the accessibility of allusions depends upon the range of cultural reference available to both the writer and reader. I do write poems that are grocery lists. In fact, there is a poem up here called "Grocery List," which is a grocery list. It's a friendly tweak at Essorant, who seriously dislikes such things. Smiles, Jim [This message has been edited by oceanvu2 (07-01-2007 11:04 PM).] |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
“My thought is that the accessibility of allusions depends upon the range of cultural reference available to both the writer and reader.” So glad you said that, Jim. I’m not very bright, educated or well read, but I really do appreciate a poem that let’s me share a bit of the world of those who are. As I said before, I really had to Google to get through your poem. While doing so I learned a lot and found a least one book for my reading list that I most likely would never have known about had I not read your poem. (It sounds fascinating so I thank you for that.) Those with the background to know what you were talking about no doubt enjoyed the humor of your light verse. Those, like myself, lacking the cultural references you mentioned, can still get a lot out of your poem if they’re willing to do the work. There really were enough “clues”in your poem to put the ball over the plate. It’s the reader’s choice whether to step up to the plate or take his bat and go home. |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Jennifer! Thank you for taking time to look at this. When you suggest that you are not very bright, well educated, or well read, you do yourself a great disservice. Anyone who has read your poetry here and in "Dark" knows that is not the case! Best, Jim |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Moonbeam: I forgot to mention that I got the joke in your play with the "Gud Job" closure to your previous post. In Scots, it would be "Guid." Now, none of this post's referential silliness is going to make the slightest amount of sense to anyone except you and me. But isn't that part of the "fun" of the forums? Communicating with people of wildly divergent backgrounds and views? Best, Jim |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Essorant! Thank you for tweaking back, suggesting "end notes!" Love it! I agree with your statement: "profoundness is not just alluding to something, and expecting the reader to do the delving, but actually taking the reader into important depths itself." Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on one's point of view, no one has ever accused me of pandering to profundity! I don't think you were serious about "end notes," and I don't think the point of this forum is to defend one's self against critique, rather, it is to invite critique. However, since it apparently both bemused and befuddled various readers, I can explain how this poem is put together without getting into questions of competency. That is the critiquer's priviledge! "Chasing After Snow Leopards with Schaller and Matthiessen." The poem begins with the title. Peter Matthiessen's book, "The Snow Leopard," won the National Book Award for non-fiction in 1971. This is not a culturally elite allusion. The book was a best-seller! George Schaller was among the preeminent naturalists or mammologists of the 20th century. His book, "The Serengeti Lion: A Study of Predator–Prey Relations" won the 1973 National Book Award, again, hardly an obscure reference! "The Snow Leopard" recounts Matthiessen's and Schaller's joint trek in Nepal, Schaller in pursuit of a sighting and perhaps first ever photograph of the elusive snow leopard, and Matthiessen in search of a reknowned but reclusive Bhuddist sage known to live in the same area. For these men, the trek was both spiritual and physical. So, how does the poem get from here to Stilton Cheese? "Have you been to Thailand, Nepal, Bhutan, or Ireland?" The destinations all have overwhelming spiritual connotations, histories, and artifacts, albeit in different traditions (and trust me, you don't want me to get into traditions: I am more than capable of excrutiating overkill!) These allusions relate directly to Matthiessen's quest. "Seen Tezcatlipoca?" The Jaguar God allusion relates directly to Schaller. Tezacatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl are the two major dieties of Meso-America, part of Olmec through Aztec cultures, where they appear as same dieties with different names and presentations over time. In the main pyramid at Chichen Itza, Quetzalcoatl, personified as a rattlesnake, runs down the side of the pyramid, tail at the top, head at the bottom. Tezcatlipoca resides in a small chamber within the pyramid, undiscovered, if I remember correctly, until the late 50's. Quite an elusive cat! The statue of Tezcatlipoca at Chichen Itza, I believe, is the ONLY three dimensional, poly-chromed Meso-American diety yet discovered. The statue is thought not to be a representation of the God, but the God itself. A Very Very elusive cat! So, what part of my mental garage did this allusion come from? First, the not truly exotic National Geographic magazine. Second, I went to Chichen Itza, climbed the stairs to the chamber, and had a look. "Eaten Almond Roca?" This line is, to my mind, Zen-like, (ref: Matthiessen) in which the aspirant for higher knowledge is whacked by a stick and brought back to the here and now. Almond Roca is a confection of no particular distinction, but tastes good. "Strewn marigolds at Varanasi?" Varanasi, formerly Benares, is one of India's holiest cities in both Buddhist and Hindu traditions. Strewing marigolds on the Ganges at Varanasi is a deeply religious act. "Been to Angkor? Wat, too lazy?" This is an absoutely outrageous pun on Cambodia's Angkor Wat -- the temple at Angkor. Since it is possibly the most famous, intricate, and beautifully carved of all Buddhist temples, the reference is not particularly obscure. "Been to Paradise with Milton?" Couldn't possibly be less obscure and totally apt. "Ate the middle from a Stilton?" Again, a suggestion to come back to earth, but maybe enjoy it on a slightly higher plane. First, very few people can afford a whole English blue cheese Stilton, and scooping out the best part, the "middle," is an earthly delight! Not an obscure allusion, but a festive one! "If none of these apply to you, I say “Hush,” until some do!" In this final couplet, the "intent" of the poem, other than making someone laugh, comes home. The suggestion is that until you have experienced something, gone on a quest, or whatever, don't be too hasty about, to use a completely disgusting term, your "writes". And the remark is not snotty. Eating Almond Roca works for me. What I can't explain is how humour works. How did Matthiessen's and Schaller's quests turn out? Well, for that you gotta read the book. I'm not going to give away the ending! Thank all for your patience, Jim [This message has been edited by oceanvu2 (07-01-2007 10:57 PM).] |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Oceanvu2 I wasn't unserious at all about suggesting the endnotes. I found your explanations very interesting and insightful, and they help me read your poem more knowledgeably. Thanks for posting that. |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Well Jimbeaux, you posted it in Critical Analysis so now I have to say something insightful. Ehh, maybe not. I really liked it. I liked how I knew I was reading something so much worldlier than I can grasp. It had a sense of mystery to it; don't know if that means anything or not. I could've done without the explanation (That's why I stopped reading it when I found out it was an outline). I liked it and "got it" just fine when I first read it. Edster “Well all the apostles, they’re sittin’ on the swings, sayin’ I’d sell off my savior for a set of new rings.” |
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