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Critical Analysis #2
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oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA

0 posted 2007-05-06 08:51 PM




I used to grow geraniums, ten thousand
at a time, and seed the clouds in kid-minds,
And guide a raft down the Green River,
And lay Chihuahua-foot tiles on concrete slabs.

This was  righteous work, good work, hard work
that took me out of my mind.  I’d come
alive.  Worthless, I’ve forgotten how to be.
I’ve stopped doing. I’m watching you die.
    
I used to fix things, but I can’t fix you.
My garage is filled with useless tools,
The living room with worthless pills.
Let me be right-minded. Let me comb your hair.





© Copyright 2007 Jim Aitken - All Rights Reserved
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
1 posted 2007-05-13 10:26 PM


Absolutely moving.

I send you and her both, the most extreme condolences I can muster.

Excellent work Jimbo, as always. I like this one more than any other you've written.

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
2 posted 2007-05-13 11:46 PM


I found the shift at Worthless a bit jarring. Was that intended?
oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
3 posted 2007-05-14 12:58 PM


Hi Paul --  Thank you!

Hi Brad --  The shift wasn't meant to jar, but it is a point where a shift occurs.  Will work with your comment.


Best, Jim

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