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Critical Analysis #2
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An Anthropology
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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An Anthropology |
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cypressmoon New Member
since 2007-04-02
Posts 7 |
Anthropology Trudging through a mud path - littered with leaves like brittle pages from an ancient book I couldn’t read - a picnic table rooted in the ground, stood somewhere in my nostalgic past. The trees, like vacant skyscrapers, were shaped with the knife of the wind, the steel of the sun, and the blueprints of the dirt. Atop, the trees spewed out limbs like wires from a dilapidated building into the white plasma screen of the sky. Has the Mayan Sun been translated into television? The flickering silver light was reflected in tin flowers sprouting metal petals with a familiar language. Amber bottles were scattered, like drippings of tree-sap. Heaps of laughter, the full aroma of smoke, and faces under-lit by a blaze shimmering across their skin like refractions of light through water, swooped down on the wind of memory, and stirred ash in the unconsidered fire-pit. I had entered this forest in vacation. But I found nothing more than a subjective anthropology. Hey all, crits and comments welcome. Thanks for reading |
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| © Copyright 2007 cypressmoon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
The imagery is great, and I like that it is in free verse littered with leaves like brittle pages from an ancient book I couldn’t read - a picnic table rooted in the ground, stood somewhere in my nostalgic past. (This is a good image The trees, like vacant skyscrapers, were shaped with the knife of the wind, the steel of the sun, and the blueprints of the dirt. Atop, the trees spewed out limbs like wires from a dilapidated building into the white plasma screen of the sky. Has the Mayan Sun been translated into television? (so is this but you switch from present tense to past tense. The flickering silver light *was* reflected in tin flowers sprouting metal petals with a familiar language. Also I feel that there could be a bit more before the last couple of lines, maybe one more stanza. This is one of my favorite poems I think though, I really love the imagery and ideas |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi -- I agree with Rhia (not always the case) that this is good work. Not everyone understands that free verse still needs to be "verse." In reading this out loud, it flows well with the cadence of natural breath. You might look at the last lines and see if they are really saying what you are saying. Maybe they are. Best, Jim |
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