we have been given (revised)

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Critical Analysis #2

we have been given (revised)

minus
Member

since 2007-03-24

Posts 75

0 posted 2007-04-03 03:31 AM

we have been given
seven day cycles

equal day
equal night
twice a year

we have been given
microwave popcorn's
too many kernels
rotting teeth

and the moon
the pale tide-handler
is not alive
does not strike love
on any heart

the end

just playing around with it. what do you think?

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2007-04-04 08:20 PM

Does popcorn rot your teeth?

I don't know, I'm really asking.

minus
Member

since 2007-03-24

Posts 75

2 posted 2007-04-05 03:37 AM

if you don't brush 'em.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

3 posted 2007-04-06 06:07 PM

I like this one more.

-Paul

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