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Critical Analysis #2
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Sam makes Circles when
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Sam makes Circles when |
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dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
Sam makes Circles when, he unravels his Spider legs down from the roof lining a trail toward Bob’s top salesman of the year head, swinging toward the steering wheel; shifting the car’s riders. Bob punches the glass, at digital speeds, missing bruising Spider Sam, but right-clicking his pre-owned Navigator in circles. Sue passively grips. Bob’s angled-arm yokes u-turns. Sue sneaks peeks at the spider-beaded rain, through the split, water-resistant web of glass. Sue says to Bob, “How was your bachelor party.” Bob’s front two tires make tracks of multi-spun ropes. Bob driving admits to Sue his mate, “nearly drove you home with me,” as he u-turns once again ensnaring the town’s space. Spider Sam creeps into the black velvet space of the trunk. Like damselflies it ingests baby blue circles on litmus paper. Its sticky web implodes the bachelor’s party balloons. It drives three pairs of spinneret’s silk from its abdomen. The spinning organs of Spider Sam, She's spinning between constellations and dreams to make phonebooking Bob's random calls to future girl friends; creating a horizon’s web. Then Spider Sam Swings down to the exhaust and he e-mails Circles of web out in a suffusing, smoke shot, weaved virus to the towns spaces, for the passersby to choke on. Then the Cyberspace secularized web gazers make off running and skiing on the street, on the pockets of snow circles, leaving half-wet mounds on big half-melted hills. Thus through the Spider’s fragmentation, all of these post-modernist skiers now had vacation driving stories to tell of how they were bounced and surfed away by the driver, off the road that’s famous for being dissected by city hall’s web address. Then Bob directs fake sayings of, “promise to get you home safe.” Then Spider Sam Circles to the car’s front. It spies the tangled cobwebbed spaces of Sue’s mussed and matted hair. Then the spider bit Sue-man’s evil eyes form circles toward the still driving Bob. Sue then says suddenly, “You gave me V.D. and you make bachelor balloons like they are all right.” Sam swerves, and then regains. And, Sue makes snivels while saying, “…I’m pregnant…See my belly,” while Sam hides his driving shame. Sue dials her cellular phone and a mechanic’s wall-phone across town circles from Sue’s ringing. It being walked all over by one of more spiders, which spin a web- substitute of a chat room romance problem. “Hello,” Sue commonly calls, into the spaces “guess what my fiancée did. Bob spun us a virus, a Spider- Sam space that your best mechanics tools never can fix in their circles.” Both spider and car then make a web of skid tracks, circular, as the Spider bit woman’s belly swells……in driving circles. copyright dwgpoet 2007 |
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| © Copyright 2007 dwgpoet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Wow. -Paul |
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
This sounds like a love triangle straight out of the Sims. I really like S1 but after that it reads like a novel. No real poetry here. CS |
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dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
Thank You for your critiques Novelette ALL; Christian Speaks and WoW Viking Metal. |
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