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Critical Analysis #2
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dwgpoet
Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122
FL, USA

0 posted 2007-03-05 09:17 PM


When Answering the Port Call

When Pond becomes Sea,
When boat moves to catch,
When welcomed; Persist casting
and trawling, without end,

Until all ponds form one Sea.

Stay before markets open,
Gauge enormity of task,
Before that day’s end,
“Overwork,” Impossible!
Before that end day,

Study vast currents,
Bait choppiness, bait ripples,
The circuit of holes,
Below preferred high tide minds,
Ten out of all ponds,
Starved for diet of netted meat,
Malnourished, yet schooling hope,

As more lines maintain uncrossed,
More translations for more eyes,
Below boats anchored out deep,
Below bridges on trade seas,
When ponds unassigned summit,

Until all ponds shape one Sea,

That crafts new baptized tallies,
unwavering Anglers,
Before that day’s end,
Before that end day.

copyright dwgpoet 2007

© Copyright 2007 dwgpoet - All Rights Reserved
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
1 posted 2007-03-07 04:22 PM


I'll try to get to the numbering business later. Right now, I just have some problems with the grammar.

But to be honest, I liked it. I'm just stuck thinking, it's not about fish, it's about chicks.


dwgpoet
Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122
FL, USA
2 posted 2007-03-10 12:48 PM


Help me with the Grammar fix.
How you see, "numbering chicks?"

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