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Critical Analysis #2
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glopal
New Member
since 2007-01-18
Posts 2


0 posted 2007-01-18 09:31 PM



Hello everyone.
This poem I wrote for a school assignment.
The poem had to be a parody.
It must contain an example of alliteration.

My main concern is whether its understandable, so if you could post what you think its about, both at face value and its deeper meaning.

Black And White Minds

In a place of cold and ice,
A colony of penguins had it rather nice,
A patch of land they lived and loved,
No one was ever pushed or shoved,

One day came a stranger to this location,
The penguins gathered into a congregation,
His words resounded true,
If only they knew--,

Spoke of a sole sentient settled in a sphere,
Foretold the future folly of furious fire and fear,
Must move many momentarily, massively migrate,
Penguins who protest prompt punishment; no procreate,

The generations flew by,
The story manifested to the point of a lie,
The long journey was deadly each year,
A lonely cold demise, for the sake of some seer.


© Copyright 2007 glopal - All Rights Reserved
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
1 posted 2007-01-20 01:45 AM


Do you want to turn this into something or did you just want to finish the assignment?

The reason I ask is that third strophe seems more of a get it done mode than an attempt to use alliteration to enhance the feel.

I liked the title and think the poem could be fun (thinking of the Penguins from Madagascar for example), but I'm not sure what you're parodying here.


glopal
New Member
since 2007-01-18
Posts 2

2 posted 2007-01-20 02:27 AM


Well yes and no, I just want to get a good mark on it, but at the same time I enjoyed writing it and wanted some input on it.

As for what I wanted it to mean... I guess I didnt do a good job of getting the message across, so I'll explain it now.

Basically its a parody of religion. I wanted to pass along the idea of misinterpretation, gullibity, and the corrosion of truth.

If you know anything about the Emperor penguin you know that once a year it travels over 90 miles to mate, with little reason why. So I figured it be neat to try to give it a reason.

So first they live on this patch of land, life is good. This foreign penguin shows up, has a talk with them.

The first line of the alliteration part is important, though hard to understand.
"Spoke of a sole sentient", sentient being like a human. "settled in a semi-sphere" (Added semi on the final draft), the sphere being an igloo.
So this other penguin see this thing it does not understand, this strange creature, and more importantly fire, which he spreads fear about. So then he tell them that they now must migrate inorder to mate. So I guess its sorta supposed to represent jesus, or any prophet for that matter. And the word seer at the end is just another word for prophet.
And I think the rest is self-explanatory, read it again, tell me what ya think.

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