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Critical Analysis #2

FOUR VETS AND YOUR SON

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

0 posted 2006-12-29 01:11 PM

FOUR VETS AND YOUR SON

                      1
Corky and his Hubcaps are a success.
a birthday boys fingers sore from steel strings.

                      2
He had been decorated with every Medal they could give.
loud and pompous in love with the throb in his voice

                      3
Falling from his chair beer spilling, he hides tears
that one tour, those two weeks still a nightmare

                      4
In Vietnam, he served his country well
glowing with pride planning a ride to the great black wall

Dreams of flying, confident from gaming
Boot camp starts in a week

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2006-12-30 03:10 AM

I'm not a big fan of this structure, but I like this one more than I should.

In many ways, it leaves you begging for more and, in this case, I'm not sure you should give it. Like the black wall, the sheer power is there as a list.

Skippyrick
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 150
Rohnert Park

2 posted 2006-12-30 01:02 PM

mmmm:

You like more than you should. That says soo much and so little. But then again thanks.

Rick

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