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Critical Analysis #2
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emy
Junior Member
since 2006-11-04
Posts 32


0 posted 2006-12-14 08:57 AM


The Caterpillar


He could hear the petals swish to hide
the jeers  rustling in the moth's and beetle's wings,
their cackles fell out of the trees and dropped
into a deafened sky. He shifted  to the right
and the twigs sagged against his weight.

He munched and  crunched and heaved
around the green. Sometimes, the crickets
flexing knees would hear his song,
short piercing waves " Only the birds love me.."
his body  and all the branch would shake and rumble at the joke.

One day,  the sun conquered both clouds and mist
and threw it's light upon a tangled skin, desolate,
hanging beside the last half devoured
leaf; but he who was with heavy trunk
and wobbly legs was  fluttering lightly
a dancer balanced on a drop of dew.  


© Copyright 2006 emy - All Rights Reserved
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
1 posted 2006-12-15 10:25 PM


You seem poised between the comic and the beauty. Choose one and go with it.

Or write two poems.


emy
Junior Member
since 2006-11-04
Posts 32

2 posted 2006-12-17 09:53 AM


you've hit the nail on the head there,  I guess this belongs in the drawer until I know what I want to do with it.

cheers

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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #2 » The Caterpillar (revision)

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