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Critical Analysis #2
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My Best Point Ever
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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My Best Point Ever |
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Master666 New Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 3 |
 i no it's hard to read so.... The sweat drips down my face to the ground below I look up flexing my body My back screams as I stretch back Exploding forward in a fury Both feet off the ground Right first followed by the left As I land I'm possessed ready The ball scorches the line Some how I find a return Dashing towards the backline Leaping into the air Twisting torque to the right Spinning me and the ball Dashing back to the center in preparation Facing the left the ball launched Chasing the left line in anticipation Scrapping the racquet on the ground Chipping the return over the service box Blazing towards the net The returned chipped back over the net Post bounce I return Only to find a waiting opponent Tipping a return over my head Stepping back I bounce a return Return sliced at my feet I nearly fall but I return Recklessly I receive a high return I line up and energize My muscles Flex And an explosion The ball flying off my racquet Bouncing inches from his feet Then I YELL As loud as I can My muscles flex And I leap into the air celebrating The victory of my best point ever |
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| © Copyright 2006 Master666 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
If you knew it was hard to read, why did you post it anyway? Besides, our purpose here is to analyze poetry, not graphics. Along those lines, it may have been a singular moment for you but I can't find much of poetic value in it. Sorry but I don't have any constructive suggestions. |
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kif kif Member
since 2006-06-01
Posts 439BCN |
Hello M666, I have to repeat what seems to be the overall message...the type is almost impossible to read, and to know that, but post anyway seems a bit silly. I love pictures, and I love words, but as this is a poetry site, the words are supposed to describe the picture, without having to resort back to the visual that prompted the words (eek, I hope that makes sense). I'm trying to think of what's going on here...you're telling with your words, and showing with your pictures...I believe it would work better the other way around. That being said, you do have a kind of rhythm, but this piece especially has no poetic merit...it could almost be a commentary, but nothing more. |
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