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Critical Analysis #2
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Lies Revealed
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Lies Revealed |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Lightlessness lies in the belly of the beast Swirling, pivoting about A cacophony of soundless movement Skimming through the shadows Constant streaming motions Weaving, turning tendrils snake Up and over, rubbing together Then back down under A quick stroke of light. Any insight or criticism would be greatly appreciated. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Catherine Bautista - All Rights Reserved | |||
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
I quite like this. The metaphor is convincing. I thought at first that the sonics in the opening were just too over the top, but in the context of the animal symbol I think the sibilants work well and you get away with it. Also I’d normally be baulking at the excess of “-ing” sounds and Latinates but again I think the poem demands them, so fine. Thanks. M |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Thanks so much, I got someone who told me that they are confused as to what I am relating this to, did you also find that? And what can you suggest? Thanks so much for your comment M. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
No I wasn't confused. The Title ought to provide a strong indicator to any astute reader. If I have not picked up precisely the same nuances as those you intended when you wrote it, does that matter do you think? It's a short poem, it does a job - there is no point in tampering with it IMHO. M |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Thanks so much for that input, and thank you for reviewing it. This helps me alot with my writing. I hope you continue to "watch" over the rest of my poems in this section. |
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