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| Critical Analysis #2 |
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lost friends |
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lokiwolf Junior Member
since 2006-06-27
Posts 31 |
when someone shares it all and then you let them fall do want them to forgive? when they wish you didnt live say goodbye to your bond no matter how strong ok this is all i can get does anyone have anymore ideas? [This message has been edited by lokiwolf (06-29-2006 01:42 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 holly teleglow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lokiwolf Junior Member
since 2006-06-27
Posts 31 |
I have the begenning to a poem but I am stuck here please help [This message has been edited by lokiwolf (06-29-2006 01:43 AM).] |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Write your feelings lokiwolf. You are your own worst critic. Be kind to yourself. It will happen. Try a little concrete description. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Before asking for critique, you might consider working on them enough yourself so that they don't "suck." |
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Always Lisa Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 133 |
>ok this is all i can get does anyone have anymore ideas? Yes, find your meter, fix L3 and look/listen closer to words that you think rhyme. Next, find a poetic voice ... something that's different from run of the mill conversation while still hanging on to the message. Next, take a heck of a lot more time with your poem by hanging onto it until it can find its voice. Feeling the need to ask the reader to help give it one by offering ideas is clear indication that it just isn't ready for an audience. Always Lisa |
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lokiwolf Junior Member
since 2006-06-27
Posts 31 |
sorry i just thought this section was where people made poems together, i geuss I just missunderstood what you do in this section. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Not quite. Our goal, at least, is maybe a bit higher. What is usually expected is that you do the work yourself then, when you think it is getting close to worthy, submit it here for suggestions on how to improve. Of course, the suggestions sometimes may be to just start over. But most times some worthwhile help comes out. Don't let that discourage you. We have writers at many experience levels. As long as you have sincerely made the initial effort, someone will likely be ready to help. Pete |
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Shaddow1 Junior Member
since 2006-09-04
Posts 41Kingman Az, USA |
My advice is just follow The Lady's advice. write your emotions just let it flow. don't worry if it doesn't rhyme. Not all poetry does. And you can always revise it untill you feel it is right. You have a great beggining. I can't wait to see the end. Love is like a Rose; it always dies - Britney Miller |
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