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Critical Analysis #2
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TreeFiddy
New Member
since 2005-11-13
Posts 8
North Carolina, United States

0 posted 2006-02-13 05:25 PM


Pausing in between the cathedral and the institution:
I had filled the exact spot of my revelation,
My former belief of my brilliance.
Recalling my old powder essay for a moment,
but it is back there in the scholarly roads of Athens
and I am supposed to be in.

I take a shifty step outside of my monument
Lest I may be shot
Lest I may be taken
Mistaken, and on through the institution
I would be seen as a troublemaker.

Yes, there's nothing I can do
Wandering around in this unrealized ceramic.
Nothing I churn out these days is quality,
they do not tell stories of the monkey's conquest of the Gods
they do not have holes to hold tea.
I make nickels that are politically correct,
it doesn't seem angelic.

Righteousness, nobility
I close my eyes until passed into the institution.
I rotate my old mug to read the full text:
"I have been filled with brilliance".

Old, old, old.
You cannot just turn on the machine.

Yet it will be easiest if you do not go mad -
It will be easiest to not be driven
by your personal visions.

© Copyright 2006 Andrew Paschal - All Rights Reserved
MUSEconnieSEconnie
Member
since 2006-02-28
Posts 74
california
1 posted 2006-03-03 05:42 PM


THESE LINES ARE TRULY INSPIRED:
Yes, there's nothing I can do
Wandering around in this unrealized ceramic.
EXQUISITE WRITE!

LOVE
CONNIE
I AM BLIND/I POST IN CAPS. FORGIVE IF THEY ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. A VOICE READER HELPS ME READ POSTS.  MY SCR-NAME POSTED WRONG, IT IS MUSEconnieHUES

MsSouthernOrchid
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192

2 posted 2006-03-04 12:41 PM


A good read. Enjoyed it.
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
3 posted 2006-03-04 04:22 PM


Really interesting write. I enjoyed it. Loved the wording. The way it's written creates natural pauses which add greatly to tone. I will keep an eye out for more.
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

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