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Critical Analysis #2
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Villanelle on Night
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Villanelle on Night |
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longte Member
since 2005-04-06
Posts 199Australia |
Villanelle on Night Have ever you felt terror, waking in the night Then realise you’re safe in bed, To understand and lie back, to revel in delight Witches, werewolves, have such awesome might Remember stories you have read Have ever you felt terror, waking in the night Outside moon is dark, stars are shining bright Think on where your travels led To understand and lie back, to revel in delight A whisper from the window, giving such a fright Finally come just like he said Have ever you felt terror, waking in the night Companion here at last, now within your sight Comprehend where passion led To understand and lie back, to revel in delight Now in ecstasy, just waiting for the bite Vampire lover never dead Have ever you felt terror, waking in the night To understand and lie back, to revel in delight ... .. . Must be a full moon coming soon So many different styles of poetry out there to play with .. . Live It |
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| © Copyright 2006 P.Nicholson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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gelato Member
since 2005-10-27
Posts 63TN,USA |
Kinda stumbled over the first stanxa, 4rd line, but overall it was enjoyable. "Relationships are the one tangible connection we have with God" - Purpose Driven Life |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Much the same comments here as on your pantoum. Again I suggest a more consistent meter, particularly, shorten that long 3rd line. |
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longte Member
since 2005-04-06
Posts 199Australia |
Witches; Werewolves I wanted to be 'stacatto' if thats the right word When I dropped it in as witches and werewolves it didn't seem to convey the same fear factor Stanza is my next project Learning curves are great fun Thanks for the inputs Peter |
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elpoeta Junior Member
since 2006-01-17
Posts 15Puerto Rico |
Let me see: If I remove the repetitive line of "have you ever felt terror waking in the night" and "To understand and lie back, to revel in delight" then you actually only have ten lines of unrepetitive actual verse. That 10 out a 19 line poem. I thought it was a bit too repetitive. I believe the repetiveness works good when the line being repeated is a strong emotional line. I did however like the form and fluidness of the poem. Good work. Mike |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
“Let me see: If I remove the repetitive line of "have you ever felt terror waking in the night" and "To understand and lie back, to revel in delight" then you actually only have ten lines of unrepetitive actual verse” If you removed the repetitive lines wouldn’t it cease to be a Villanelle? |
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elpoeta Junior Member
since 2006-01-17
Posts 15Puerto Rico |
Grinch, u r correct. However, I still stand behind my original statement of how emotional or strong a repetitive line should be. Take for example The Raven by Poe. Lines repeated were strong and it didn't make up 50% of the poem itself. I still liked the poem, in spite of this. Mike |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Which is more important following the form or writing a better poem? Doesn't the question answer itself? How can you tell when to leave the form? Ah, that's the hard part. With the repetition, meter is not as important as Pete thinks (Sorry, Pete). The trick, like the Pantoum, is to create the chant without letting the reader know that it is a chant. Or to keep the 'real' meaning of those repeated lines hidden until the very end. |
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