Let’s All be Different Together

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Critical Analysis #2

Let’s All be Different Together

Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

0 posted 2005-12-18 02:11 AM

Let’s All be Different Together

Different like dissimilar,
In every different way,
Different street with different signs.
It’s different all the same.
Different path with different skies,
And never too little too late,
A different world with different times,
And different writing on the slate,
We walk among the many people with different lives to live.
It’s different now but it wasn’t then.
So tell me what’s the difference?
A different me,
A different you,
But we all look all the same.
So if no one is different,
Then why do I have a name?

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2005-12-19 10:27 PM

i love the way the rythm seems to mock difference along with the words. the hint of rhyme is rather nice; i think rhyming would have made it too sing-songy. however, starting line 8 you get loose with your form. i would pray you revise it. it is good it could be great.

cheers.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

2 posted 2005-12-19 11:37 PM

Thanks majnu, I have actually gotten some pretty nasty feedback from a couple of people (not on this forum) so I'm in the middle of a re-write. Thanks again for your honesty. - Ed

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