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| Critical Analysis #2 |
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your comments |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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Read this- Not as my work, But as you how see it, Be it beautiful, Or something that rhymes, Maybe it fits your taste, Whatever your choice, Words are just here, See this as your break, From your world that is so perfect, Go with me to fantasy land, See it from a third person point of view, So composed you as you read this, Focused on this piece of paper, Each word, waiting for the next, When will it end? What have you learned? Oh, it’s just entertaining, Then the purpose is served, You might have smiled, Or could have thought twice, And cried on the other ones, But I speak to you as I see, The world in my own- Reality I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brilliantlover New Member
since 2005-06-25
Posts 5Maryland |
The line "see this as your break" is a bit distracting for me - as I do literally take a break. But then the poem continues with "from..." I really like that idea of the poem breaking for the reader, both in word and thought - I'd start a new sentence in that next stanza. I like the idea of this poem, almost strikes me as an opening poem for a collection. I wonder if the end of the poem could be made stronger. Of course it is your "reality," you wrote it. It isn't as climaxing as it could be. |
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