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Critical Analysis #2
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Power Struggle
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Power Struggle |
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Seeker New Member
since 2005-06-23
Posts 3 |
In wanton affection I plead for acceptance, but beggared to hypocrisy only emulates servitude. For what purpose is reason if not the reason for My purpose? Unlike the ox, there is pride in My cultivation. Unlike the cloth, I do not crease at the fold. How is one delivered from self? Never do I see clearly what so many blindly witness. The stories bear witness to creation, but creation is a story’s prerequisite. A blatant self-promotion. A tale of a tale. From dust or dinoflagellate, can I be re-molded? My divination unfounded, My existence must belong to Me. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Welcome to the Forum I like this; and will offer some questions/suggestions. "In wanton affection I plead for acceptance, but beggared to hypocrisy only emulates servitude." These lines are a bit cloudy. Not sure what or who "wanton affection" is toward, or acceptance is begged for at. I think referring to an "object" of affection or acceptance may help the reader out here. Express that it is affection and acceptance by God, a lover, or a society, or a family member, etc. Also "emulates" looks like it should be emulate I like the second stanza & third stanza. I have some difficulty with the meaning of the last three lines of the former though and how they relate to the first four. You seem to be expressing human selfuniqueness with admiration and clarity; but the questions refer to deliverance and unclarity. Not sure how you meant this to be interpreted. "The stories bear witness to creation, but creation is a story’s prerequisite. A blatant self-promotion. A tale of a tale. From dust or dinoflagellate, can I be re-molded? My divination unfounded, My existence must belong to Me. I thought these lines were excellent. Interesting expression of "selfness" Enjoyed your poem. |
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Seeker New Member
since 2005-06-23
Posts 3 |
In the first stanza, I am saying that with rebellious partiallity I plead for a belief in something, but that asking God for a belief only because at that moment I need the belief is hypocritical and not actually being true to God. The question is asking why I have a reasonable mind that contradicts faith if I am not supposed to use that most important part of it. The second stanza I use the ox which is used in Biblical references to say that I have pride in what I have learned, pride being sinful and what I have learned leading to my lack of belief. I then say that unlike the cloth, alluding to the church, I do not crease at the fold, or I cannot reshape mysself to be other than what I am. Does that help to join these lines with the following three? Do you see the problems being with word choice, vaguity, a complete lack of poetic ability? Some of the words, wanton and affection are being used with what are considered obsolete definitions. I liked the sound of them better than other alternatives. |
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Angel1 Junior Member
since 2005-06-29
Posts 20TN, USA |
yeah, I think you need some clarification in that first stanza. |
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