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Critical Analysis #2
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netsky
Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148
Miami

0 posted 2005-04-05 06:20 AM



A comic poem to illustrate a seldom-seen word:
"Claque".  It came from the French and denotes those people who were paid to applaud.

The scene is set in the latter part of the nineteenth century and is realistic enough: the music hall, but with metaphorical twists.

Meet conductor Jack. It's -supposed- to be a bumpy ride.  
However, I ask you to tell me if it's -not fun or not intersting.. or speak up if you can help fix Claque better  

This is critical anaysis 2. I like ruff crits, I do and you need not worry to be technical to say why,  if you did not like any poem of my fumbling efforts.  


Thanks to crew, passengers and cliques and claques.


-----

-=-Claque-=-


Like bumps on rails of railroad tracks;
as if on cue from conductor Jack,
the audience-shills slapped their palms
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap

"Oh, you peanut gallery!
You rabbling crows your free ride paid!
So clap!
Don't only honk your noses!"
demanded he before show time,
Johnathan Wimpole Walrus Back,
conductor of the Knightsbridge Line

A cliquish-claque of feigns-not-fares
hollowly rides his clap-trap aires
Two shillings to stay and all that one-way
Hear bad music? Applaud Back any way
clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap!

Turning he bows toward his claque-rail-lions;
those callows dumping faked huzzahs
giving real payers shrinking pause
CLAQUEDY CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
"Really, was it so much all that?"


  
This conductor now turns and bows
and runs toward curtains to avoid
your roused tempers after a dupey tour
upon a de-railed vaudeville railing
from the crooked Knightsbridge Lie... urr ...
__The Knightsbridge Limelight Line__



© Copyright 2005 Reid Welch - All Rights Reserved
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
1 posted 2005-04-05 08:00 AM


Um, why not use the word in the poem?

It's a good word after all.


netsky
Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148
Miami
2 posted 2005-04-05 04:12 PM


Good and dry point you make.  Well, I sort'a did: the title, plus an onomatopoeic twist of "claque" does occur.  And too, the contextings do suggest what "claque" means.  Perhaps not concretely enough, though. Thanks to you for pointing this out,  Brad.  I reply elsewhere more tersely (grin),
and with real appreciation for blunt favors,

reid

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