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Critical Analysis #2

Subtle Insanity

mrmojorisin5908
Member

since 2004-05-03

Posts 103
Colorado

0 posted 2004-12-08 03:15 AM

Restraint, pain, found along walking ruins
Cruel molestations of inner conglomerations
A mutant dries blood, sinking away into grey
Circle the path, the feast, the inner beast
Keep the purple tongues sifting through ash

May has come, now is the time
Soil sinking, rising into fond memories
A masquerade of filth
Girl on the wall, climbing tall, shrinking beneath us
Stop:::::: Hide locks, breath air, care to share
Vast desert of vegetation and humiliation

We the people demand a beautiful end
Again we relegate in feasts of orange palms
Strange, a land washed in gardens of lust
Pretend to agitate pain, life, and wild remains
Insanity, the manic child prays to the sky
His core full of agitating abomination

Andrew A.
"While public funds evaporate in feasts of fraternity, a bell of rosy fire rings in the clouds."

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

1 posted 2004-12-09 12:42 PM

i think this is a seemingly flawless write.
only one question:

"Stop:::::: Hide locks, breath air, care to share"

is "breath air" supposed to be "breathe air"?

i think it should be.

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