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Critical Analysis #2
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Summers
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Summers |
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b.costen Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107ontario, CAN |
Where have you gone with the summers of your life? Or what have you done with them. For summers are for those who have the time to decide What summers are for. 21 summers of your life are gone now, You have an average of 59 summers left. We have decided that work means very little, Unless you like it, or grow to. So spend summers hopeful that you can erase all regrets Before you get there. Which is where you’re going, Although it is not you pointing out the direction. There’s family, but love is not always found here, You having been assaulted either physically or mentally as a child. Or both. 16.4% chance, so there’s girlfriends. But after the initial coziness, girls are mostly teeth and claws and leeshes somehow too. Like a Dog walking his Owner. So bring your Dog, he loves for free. Go to a forest, who is like a lovely and lonely woman, Waiting for you to discover her in solitude. Translated to French and then back to English: Where did you go hand in hand with the summers of your life? Or what made you with them. During summers be for those which have the hour to decide during which summers take place. 21 summers of your life went now, still have you a 59 summers average. We decided that work means very little, unless you like it, or become to. Thus spend the summers full with hope which you can erase all the regrets before you arrive there. What is where you're headed, although it is not you specifying the direction. There is the family of yours, but the love is not always found here, having attacked you physically or mentally as a child. Or both. 16.4% fortuitous, thus girl friends of yours there is. But after approval initial, the girls are most of the time teeth and claws and leeshes in way or other too. Like a dog going its owner. Thus bring your dog, it likes for free. Go to a forest, which is like beautiful and only woman, awaiting you to discover it in loneliness. |
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| © Copyright 2004 ben costen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
I'll take the dog! Grover. |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
Bit too conversational to be poetry, IMHO. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I liked this. I liked the way you used the statistics to give this a disconnected formal feel and yet kind of personal in an offbeat way - as saying "what do statistics know" or show. Anyway.. I liked this. Very cutting and real. |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I like this- the statistics add a neat irony. I would try to cut down on some of the verbosity though, especially the repetition of the word 'summer'- it gets tiring after a while. Hope I've helped. |
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