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Critical Analysis #2
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The painter
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The painter |
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colbalt Junior Member
since 2004-02-03
Posts 20 |
The painter 1 I can't sleep again, many slaves. Promises, forgiveness. So tired of both. Is he coming home today? Could he have repented? He made his greatest mistake and it brings him close. He's trying to shake the guilt away, but in all honesty, he can't heal so much damage in one day. 2 I climbed up to the loft last night. I found paintings wrapped tightly in grey dust sheets. I sat there in dull light surrounded by brushstrokes- places I have never been to, sunsets I have never seen. Horizons, valleys. Faces cleansed in smiles I have never known and in each one I could find my mother. I realise he took and destroyed her idea of love. All that was beautiful in her beliefs, but she clung to something beyond his grasp. Reaching for the beauty in these scenes. I see her pleading the brush to paint herself in. |
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| © Copyright 2004 colbalt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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colbalt Junior Member
since 2004-02-03
Posts 20 |
This is my first poetry post. I would be grateful for any advice and comments. regards colbalt. |
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thinktwice Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125United States |
it was a great first post. i liked the flow of it the most. i was surprised at where it ended up leading in the end. i must admit that after i read the first two verses i pictured the poem as a take off of the prodigal son story. not to say that's bad or anything like that, but the analogy only poves my point that i was surprised at where the verses ended up. that's a good thing, it wasn't predictable ad the language was original. |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Very good in every way. It flows smoothly, rolls off the tongue. Vivid imagery. Well crafted poem with a nice twist at the end! Grover. |
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colbalt Junior Member
since 2004-02-03
Posts 20 |
Oh! I wasn't expecting that sort of response at all! I imagined this getting pulled to pieces! Thank you very much both of you. You've done wonders for the confidence! I do like critascm aswell, so don't be worried about shouting at me when I post other work! smiles. regards colbalt |
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colbalt Junior Member
since 2004-02-03
Posts 20 |
I'm not too sure what the rules are, but am I able to post this poem on the Open Poetry board as it seems to be tightened enough already? I'm grateful for a reply, regards colbalt |
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