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MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

0 posted 2004-02-02 09:53 PM

Just how long does it take,
To give a thought instead of anger with words of hate.

To stop and think just how you would feel,
f the words you hear could destroy your will?

No one likes to be put down,
I know I would choose a sme over frown.

A smile on another's face,
Feels good like a hug or a loving embrace.

When there is nothing positive to say,
It can one to go astray.

Controlling with word, depriving love and affection,
Like your so called love that's full of deception.

What a price to pay for what your drinking has lost,
No time to give a thought no matter what it could cost.

I know we must think of ourselves at times,
But we must also think of others, like creating words that rhyme.

In the end the two beautifully match,
Giving loving thought, a heart and smile you will catch.

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

1 posted 2004-02-02 11:19 PM

Same problems again.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 2004-02-04 05:32 PM

Um, what is this or who is this about?

gourdmad
Member

since 2003-12-01

Posts 136
Upper Ohio Valley

3 posted 2004-02-04 07:38 PM

quantity is not synonymous with quality

thinktwice
Member

since 2003-12-23

Posts 125
United States

4 posted 2004-02-05 08:41 AM

I must say I got distracted by the typo in the third verse. You wrote "f" when I think you meant to write "if". I don't mean to sound rude or picky to anybody, but when you're finished with a poem and plan to post it, please read through it carefully. Something as simple as a small typo can void meaning and/or possibly distract from the emotions being conveyed. I know people make mistakes, but when you realize a mistake, be quick to correct it.

I liked the rest of the poem. I t didn't stand out as much as others though.

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

5 posted 2004-02-12 08:47 PM

Just needs a little revising-- correct your spelling errors. You can write, just slow down a bit Marsha!

a123
Member

since 2004-03-27

Posts 72

6 posted 2004-03-27 10:10 AM

one line that stayed with me-like creating words that rhyme-not bad infact i like your poem its kind of like a chicken soup kind of poem.

croyles
Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 102

7 posted 2004-04-04 07:01 PM

*To Brad* you dont exactly have to tell - in your poem - who it is about; thats no ones business and not the point of poetry.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

8 posted 2004-04-05 03:10 AM

So, Croyles, what is the 'point' of poetry?

K

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