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Critical Analysis #2
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Revival
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Revival |
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TwistedKnickers Junior Member
since 2004-01-02
Posts 35Saskatchewan, Canada |
Credit card shells burst airmiles by my head, piercing the Maytag washer and dryer. They screamed like foreign women. I slid down the white wall into a tight, fetal fist and watched Oscar Mayer weiners explode pink entrails on the sidewalk. "Incoming!" A green uniform dove in slow motion behind a Tim Horton's, barely dodging fresh ground schrapnel. He was behind me, the gun still warm. Oh God. Shavings of light shifted beneath my eyelids, my lover's morning erection snuggled up between my buttocks. I got up and turned the T.V. off. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Catherine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wintertao Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366Okaloosa Island, FL |
oh - read this b4 hows it going - tesla here. Credit card shells burst airmiles by my head, piercing the Maytag washer and dryer. They screamed like foreign women. nice start/finish to this. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I like this. However, while I'm not completely sure, I think that the line breaks reflect the syntax more than they contrast. I didn't really feel compelled to read the poem. Or perhaps it's just a matter of making the lines longer. |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Lotsa action-packed imagery here! Grover. |
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