»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
Green Eyes
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
Green Eyes |
|
|
iwontdrownagain Junior Member
since 2003-10-04
Posts 39Massachusetts |
Sorry it has been so long since I posted. I got really busy. But anyway, here's a poem I don't think I have yet posted. If I have, let me know and I can post something else. Thanks! Lynn Green Eyes The green of your eyes That you get from your father Shows your personality, Such a young girl with an equally Young and foolish heart. You write of love that you hope to one day be true And you write of love that has once again left you. But it's okay, time heals no wounds If the gauze is slowly peeled off Of the gaping wound he left you with. Don't jump in until you have seen If his still waters run shallow like most. Don't jump in too quickly into his brown eyes. You don't want to drown so early again. I will show you the patterns of behavior that Your pretty green eyes don't see. Your green eyes believe the lies of the first one for a while, Then you go. Then your green eyes believe the lies of the next for too long, Then he leaves you with no explanation. Do you deserve no explanation? Of course not. So think. Why would he leave? Is he a fake? Is he gay? Did he go back to the blonde bombshell of an ex? Why bother. You shouldn’t care. Nobody should. It's the fact that you feel the same way again. Feeling like a nothing, but then again, something. You feel like a re-broken heart, Immune to the pain of lost love. There is a common lie. It is not better to have loved and lost. It's worse to have loved and lost. You wish they didn't exist, Dead like a bouquet of roses hanging, dangling, rotting. The roses he gave you. Who wants to keep them now, you ask? Why remember what he's done to you? Just keep them to remember not to trust anyone. Keep on searching, you'll find someone. You'll find someone perfect, and he won't hurt you. You will find someone. Just be careful. Don't let yourself drown again. Don't deprive yourself of oxygen. Don't rush in. Take it easy. Chill for a while, Write poems about gore, dead roses and what have you. Anything to get them off of your mind. It will be better in the end. One last thought: Go to your dictionary. Look up "infatuation", And learn it. It may save your heart. "The green of your eyes |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Lynn Moynahan - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
On and on and on and on.....and on...and on this goes. You lose ANY impact you may have wanted to make in this by sheer waffling. That sounds harsh, I know, but from a poetical stance you need to cut out at least half of this. And then even if you do cut it you need to think cliche vs original way of saying things that have been said millions of times before. As a purge poem? I well understand - written a few myself, that could well contest this in terms of going on..and on..and on.   K |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
