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Humpty Dumpty
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Humpty Dumpty |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
You broke my shell and dropped me on the floor. Wiped me up with a wet cloth of words and left me to settle in my new place on the shelf. I want to fly. I want to break out of my shell and fly on the wings of love, soaring through the storms of strife instead of being crushed by them. (I'm not sure if this qualifies as a poem. I write all kinds of things but I'm not sure what makes a poem a poem.) [This message has been edited by Copperbell (11-29-2003 11:43 PM).] |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
quote: I would say, the basic imagery conveyed by this… ”You broke my shell and dropped me on the floor. Wiped me up with a wet cloth of words and left me to settle in my new place on the shelf.” …is clearly a beginning. The difficult part would be building on the idea without allowing it to become too clichéd. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com www.primerhymeetc.com [This message has been edited by cynicsRus (11-29-2003 10:07 PM).] |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I know the imagery is poetic, but the second part where it says I want to fly... feels close to ordinary language. My question is - is a poem still considered a poem when it has plain, ordinary english - without the metaphor or similie. Much of what I write is plain, but written with short sentences and appears to be a poem. Is it a poem just because I call it a poem? I'm going to submit another one for an example. Also...do you think this is cliche? or perhaps just the title? |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
I felt the second part was dull. That’s why I didn’t address it. "I want to fly…break out of my shell…on the wings of love…storms of strife,"(redundancy; each can be a metaphor for the other)…more commonly stated storms of life; all these statements are being used every day in songs, marriage proposals and/or high school poems. IMO, the title connects well with your premise, but should be in quotes since it’s borrowed from Ms Goose. I believe one can write a poem with even the simplest of words. Mr. Coleridge stated: “Poetry, the best words in the best order.” That doesn’t necessarily mean the fanciest words. Sometimes, the simplest words are the most descriptive. Good poetry is about putting each word in it’s most effective position on any given line. If you are merely arranging those words to state what someone has said previously, then it won’t be seen as your creation, and it will be considered mundane. The reader must be compelled to read on because of some unique quality that it possesses. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com www.primerhymeetc.com [This message has been edited by cynicsRus (12-01-2003 12:11 AM).] |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
Thanks...I've thought about your comments - have no ideas yet how to make it better, but I'll let it brew in my mind for awhile. |
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