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Critical Analysis #2
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Marty Baird
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since 2003-09-20
Posts 90
Georgia, U.S.

0 posted 2003-10-17 09:07 AM



        Lion traveling

  Fall twisting green blue green

        Eternities trip

........
I hope someone can let me know if this follows all the rules Thank You for your time & advice.

© Copyright 2003 Marty Baird - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-10-17 09:17 AM


Morning Marty...
you seem in my read to have the syllable counts correct and follow the tradtion of Haiku being about or refering to nature in some way.

You might find it interesting to read a bit on the history of haiku, I know I did.


Jamie
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since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
2 posted 2003-10-17 11:13 AM


Actually, I come up with 5-6-5 as opposed to the more traditional 5-7-5.

Otherwise, the mold fits.

Cheers,

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Cpat Hair
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3 posted 2003-10-17 11:32 AM


Jamie..you are right..I stuttered when I counted..it is 5-6-5.. lol.. goes t show, I should count before coffee.


Marty Baird
Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 90
Georgia, U.S.
4 posted 2003-10-17 02:02 PM


Guess I miss counted too. In Reichold's book that's one of first things she points out.
I saw the green blue green as a way of showing a yearly cycle. Blue being the clear sky of winter Haiku has so many ways to mess it up. Still like it because of how much can be read into it.  Thanks again for catching my mistake.

Cpat Hair
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5 posted 2003-10-17 02:38 PM


marty, something I dug up that while not totally correct from what I remember reading in other sources, in essence some of the things usually associated with the Haiku

Haiku is a small poetry with oriental metric that appeared in the XVI century and is being very popular mainly in Japan. It's been disseminating in all around the world during this century. It have an old and long story that reminds the spiritualist philosophy and the Taoist simbolism of the oriental mistics and Zen-Buddhist masters who express much of their thoughts in form of miths, simbols, paradoxes and poetic images like the Haiku. It's done to transcend the limitation imposed by the usual language and the linear/scientific thinking that treat the nature and the human being as a machine.
It's a contemplative poetry that valorizes nature, color, season, contrasts and surprises. Usually it has 3 lines and 17 syllabes distributed in 5, 7 and 5. It must register or indicate a moment, sensation, impression or drama of a specific fact of nature. It's almost like a photo of some specific moment of nature.

More than inspiration, it's need meditation, effort and perception to compose a real Haiku.


Essorant
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since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada
6 posted 2003-10-17 06:03 PM


And if you don't wish to follow the rules sometimes, just call it Freeverse Haiku  

[This message has been edited by Essorant (10-17-2003 06:03 PM).]

Cpat Hair
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7 posted 2003-10-17 06:15 PM


LOL Ess.. never thought of it that way.. guess even I could write one of those..free verse haikus...


Not A Poet
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since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
8 posted 2003-10-17 07:14 PM


Yeah, me too

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
9 posted 2003-10-17 11:18 PM


Careful though folks-- they tend to be addictive-- after a period of months of haiku addiction, I had to 12 step away from them---heh

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Marty Baird
Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 90
Georgia, U.S.
10 posted 2003-10-18 06:41 AM


LOL I'll try & mix them up with other styles then. Doubt I could go to many PA meetings living away from the city like we do.
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