inspired by a bad night, and indefinitely untitled

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Critical Analysis #2

inspired by a bad night, and indefinitely untitled

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

0 posted 2003-09-27 12:06 PM

The night, as a whole, is steeped in dissatisfaction.
A neighborhood sleeps while she (lonely) broods;
a childish act, resolute nonetheless.

(discipline only confuses her)

She sets the mood with music
she knows sheâ€™d do well to avoid
and slumps in the frumpy clothes of a noncommittal life.

A cold precipitation drones on the asphalt;
another, less predictable cycle
wreaks havoc on the woman.

the ---- gets wide
and relatively sloppy

as a byproduct of the female condition.

They rarely ask permission.

***********
Okay, I'm not sure if I'm going to get away with my dashes above substituted for a no-no word? I was going to just use to parentheses to indicate a blank, but after I typed it out, I felt it might be a little too... visually suggestive? lol

Anyway, the reference (and the discipline quote above that) are from a Diane diPrima poem called 'The Practice of Magical Evocation' if anyone cares to look it up.

Thanks ahead of time for reading.

merlynh
Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 411
deer park, wa

1 posted 2003-09-27 04:35 PM

It all appears to be--a--pp. Part of the human condition, if male, "have to be strong." My late wife always thought I din't un.do.stand. Ido.

You just have to watch-um coming from the sky.

Birds and things. Were very small in the scream of things.

Edited by me, mistakes were done as a part of a higher scense then Senior Members.

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