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Critical Analysis #2

Odyssey Aspired

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

0 posted 2003-09-10 11:52 AM

she wants to slip right out of her skin,
leave her old world behind,
take to the wind;
chrysalis vacant,
crumbling,
vanishing,
as she finds new wings,
hitches on to the breeze,
in search of new faces,
unfamiliar places,
in hopes of acceptance
and love.

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

[This message has been edited by warmhrt (09-10-2003 09:12 PM).]

Craw
Member

since 2003-09-11

Posts 73
Scotland

1 posted 2003-09-11 10:06 AM

It's simple, which is good, but I wonder if for such a well-worn theme the language used isn't just a little dull, almost cliched.
I like the little rhymes and chimes you have playing about but maybe you should be a bit more ambitious in expression.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

2 posted 2003-09-11 01:01 PM

Dear Craw,

I know this theme has been done over and over, but I thought my wording was a bit different. And, frankly, I like it.
I do thank you for reading and for your comments.

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

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