Hey ppl thnx for reading - pipTalk Forums

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Critical Analysis #2

Hey ppl thnx for reading

PurpleHazed
New Member

since 2003-08-06

Posts 1

0 posted 2003-08-06 09:32 AM

hey it's just a song i've wrote
(umm for the record..english native-language)
ahhm..

Hear me father
We shall not disappear
Our mountains will wear out
And my golden shield with rust

No woman and child
Neither warrior nor farmer
Will be left to witness
Our giant wooden pillars
Which holds our skies
Will be razed to ashes
Cared lands where we were born
Will not have our hands

Hear me dear child
Into a great race we'll enter
Mountains will loose magic
As we fly to space
And no golden shields are in hand
To stop the fury of atoms

Individuality will be exchanged
More wisdom as we grow old
And we will fear death
Forgetting to love the living
Loosing sense and getting mad
As we try thinking on the unthinkable

rose
Member

since 2003-08-02

Posts 53

1 posted 2003-08-09 12:30 PM

hello PurpleHazed--
honestly it was your name that made me read your poem at first (i love the song)....but wow!! i am certainly glad i did. i thought this to be an absolutely incredible poem. i am so so so impressed. ESPECIALLY for a first post...it is amazing. i especially liked the lines:
"To stop the fury of atoms"
and
"As we try thinking on the unthinkable"
keep writing and keep posting...
~rose

mircasaster
New Member

since 2003-08-08

Posts 9
TN, United States

2 posted 2003-08-09 01:51 PM

I completely agree with Rose. This ia a very impressive poem. The imagery and the excellant use of adjectives make this poem very easy to inprint into the reader's mind. I enjoyed reading the poem a great deal and hope to read more of your work in the future.

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