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Critical Analysis #2
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gregory
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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gregory |
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grassy ninja Junior Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 41Kentucky |
you, cruel pontiff, have no pull, no jurisdiction, anymore, on my mood. i might have knelt three years at your door, let the disintegrating firmament frost my german shoulders, let my tears freeze, then fossilize on my face, artifacts begging your absolution. instead, i send my soldiers. you are not what you seem, but part ritual, more ceremony. there is no holy kiss, or secret place, no god with one golden hand arched around the syllable and the sound. there is no salvation at a cost, or blessing upon request. just wars that can be won or lost. "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string" -Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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cusick Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668 |
This sounds like a cruel world with nothing but war. (There is no holy kiss or secret places). Very powerful. Nowhere to hide . Chilling. Just up my street. Interesting read. Maggie |
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raevynsbreath Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 64Mi, USA |
this is wonderful. the imagery is great. i love "i might have knelt three years at your door". i know how that is. it's good. bring us more. good day. _rae |
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sixREninenine New Member
since 2003-08-02
Posts 7 |
is your name Alisha??? |
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grassy ninja Junior Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 41Kentucky |
no... |
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rose Member
since 2003-08-02
Posts 53 |
you did a great job portraying your emotion in this poem. good write. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hi, I really don't like to get into religious discussions, but this sounds like it's coming from a very disillusioned former Catholic. You have described the emotions very well...great read. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu [This message has been edited by warmhrt (08-03-2003 01:27 PM).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....holy war, a poem with historical reference....grassy ninja? weedhopper? Jim? |
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grassy ninja Junior Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 41Kentucky |
thank you all for the comments. just clarify any more questions about my identity, i used to post on here as roxane about 2 years ago. i don't think anybody on here now knows me, and i'm not alisha. thanks for responding. [This message has been edited by grassy ninja (08-04-2003 10:42 PM).] |
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j0n4th4n Member
since 2003-03-11
Posts 94 |
hey grassy ninja, im replying to you in return now! i agree with the person that said it sounds like from a dissilusioned former catholic. does the kneeling refer to confession? anyway, its an excellent and very (excuse me sounding stupid) 'poetic'-sounding poem, and very mature-sounding. i like the 'german shoulders' bit but am a bit confused as to what it means in the context. but i like it because i enjoy this use of language. i loved the religious imagery and the extensive use of vocabulary. reading the poem, i get this sense that you can write in a very relaxed, natural way, and this is something that i evny! 'you are not what you seem but part ritual, more ceremony'.. do you mean the organisation of organised religion? i can see what is troubling about it, and why it makes you angry. the only critism i can think of is that its a little confusing. i mean, i have been part-guessing what you are reffering to, but i might be completely wrong. having said this, i still think confusion and mystery are imporatant points in poetry. of course it might be my fault for not understanding fully. sorry if this reply sounds stupid, i have been working all day at mcdoanlds ! [This message has been edited by j0n4th4n (08-08-2003 01:12 PM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well, I remember you  |
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