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Critical Analysis #2
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Akiras_fire
New Member
since 2003-04-29
Posts 7
The Middle of nowhere

0 posted 2003-06-28 12:07 PM


I am a single rose, a twin who has lost her other
I wonder if she knows that fate was wrong
I hear her voice calling out to me beckoning my soul
I see her standing before me, calling out to me saying,
"come I am here"
I want to comfort her, to tell her I care that I love her
I am a single rose, a twin who has lost her other.

I pretend she is here by my side, that fate has not played its ugly hand.
I feel her soul surrounding me, enclosing me in its light
I touch her mind and she becomes one with me.
I worry she cannot sense me, that she has forgotten who I am
I cry for she is not here; fate has taken her from me
I am a single rose, a twin who has lost her other.

I understand she is inside my soul; her mind dwells with me
I say that life is a gift that should be given to all and no man may take from another.
I dream that someday she will return in the flesh for her soul is already here.
I try to forget the pain of losing her, the hurt of not having her here.
I am a single rose, a twin who has lost her other.
****************************************
Written by Akira
Copyright 1999

Akira
Please feel free to email me (even if its just to chat)
Akiras_fire@yahoo.com
Yahoo messenger: akiras_Fire
Aol/Aim: Kinofelicity

© Copyright 2003 akira - All Rights Reserved
Ladybug
Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236
Massachusetts
1 posted 2003-06-28 09:56 AM


Hi Akira   

This is a very beautiful, yet sad poem.  I love how you repeat the line "I am a single rose, a twin who has lost her other" at the end of every stanza...it really drives it home.  I also like how, despite the tragic and painful loss, the poem still has a sense of hope.  Good job, and I'm sorry for your loss.  

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2003-06-28 12:56 PM


Akira~
This is as touching a piece as I'll read this day~

I have a friend who has also lost her 'other' ... and I want to e-mail this to her~

I send *hugs*

Welcome to Passions~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com   

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