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Critical Analysis #2

A Little Bud

Cytten
Junior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 16
Canada

0 posted 2003-06-19 10:58 AM

growing ...from the dark damp ground
eating the earth drinking the water
breathing the sky's breth
stealing the sun I need to grow
leaving none for me
depriving me of fresh oxigyne
leaving me none of the suns golden rays
taking my heart and burrying it
deep in the dark damp cold ground

silence in the air
the sky...the ground and water empty
nothing living...breathing....moving
trying to grow but faling back
reaching...falling...growing...failing..death
my heart beat... beat....beat....
my breath clammy and weak
dying...dying...dying
weaker and weaker I grow
BEAT...BEAT....Beat.....b..e...a..t
my breath ragged
BRETH....BREATH..breath..b..r..e..a..t..h
slowly dying
DIEING...DIEING...D..I..E..I..N..G
DEATH

death to this Innocent

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

1 posted 2003-06-19 05:13 PM

lol...not_funny_,
but_neat.

o. forrest cain
Junior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 17
West Virginia

2 posted 2003-06-19 05:30 PM

Cytten, global warming or worse I guess. Interesting write and I liked your spelling.
I would consider using Co2 instead of oxygen as this is the stuff plants breathe. Nice job.

forrest

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