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Critical Analysis #2
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brianm
Junior Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 16
Colorado

0 posted 2003-06-04 10:40 AM


I would like to know what you think of the poem.  I would also like help improving upon it.  Thanks in advance for all of your help.

Brian
Lost in Wanderland


My feet are invisible,
     and I don't recognize the signs.
My legs are moving,
     but I am not controlling them.
Their feet are there to trip me,
     and I have no hands to catch myself.

I don't know where I am going...

My mind is racing,
     but I find it hard to rationalize.
My chest is tight,
     and I am fighting for breath.
The faces are all familiar,
     but no one sees me dying.

I don't know where I want to be...

Tears well up in my eyes,
     but they are trapped behind my stare.
Anger builds in my chest,
     and I am unable to scream.
My past haunts me,
     and they continue to taunt me.

I am so lonely.

© Copyright 2003 brian falls - All Rights Reserved
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