»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
The Hunt
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
The Hunt |
|
|
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563
|
bleak planes, she rides, not much to sustain anyone there, anyone with a soul or heart; often at the point of starvation, eking out just enough to carry on, hunting the plane for morsels, losing her self-respect each time she gnaws on one hunted down. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
||
| © Copyright 2003 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Kris: On the surface, the poem seems to be describing someone flying in coach wishing for an extra little bag of peanuts, but there is obviously more to it than that. If I were to venture a guess, I'd say the poem is a metaphor for a certain course someone's life has taken. Perhaps the ultimate destination will be a better place (or promises to be), but the plane trip ... the here and now ... provides little emotional "nourishment." I think you've made excellent use of your line breaks with this one. The phrases laboring from line to line do wonderful things for the poem's mood. For example: quote: and quote: It almost seems as though the speaker is pausing for breath before finishing a thought. It's agonizing ... and very well executed. Not much I would recommend changing. Perhaps rearranging the first line. I stumbled a little over it and found myself re-reading it to see how it's content fit with subsequent lines. Perhaps leading off with "She rides bleak planes -" ... I'm also not convinced much of the punctuation is necessary. Just my opinion. On par with the writing I remember, Kris. Well done. Jim |
||
|
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Jimbo! Nice to see ya. No, she's not riding any 747's. It is, as you surmised, the planes of development in her life. I thank you for your kind words, and I'll think about changing that first line, although I'm kind of attached to it as it is. Hope to see ya around...I think I'll stay awhile this time. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
||
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Hi Miapoetess  ,I hope life has been well for you? I just watched Bowling for Columbine recently and this poem reminded me of the black mum who had to work at two minimal-wage jobs that barely pay the rent anyone with a soul or heart; ~It's a minor point actually but I feel using cliches "soul" and "heart" makes the author seem as if he is trying too hard to make his readers understand...kinda like an overwhelmed lawyer pleading his case hard...which shouldn't be the case because the wealth of detail below gets the intent across effectively.... often at the point of starvation, eking out just enough to carry on, ~this part really worked for me...the use of "at" (instead of other prepositions like "to" and "on") with the use of "carry on" (instead of "survive"?) just combine to form powerful imagery for me, images that leave an ache hunting the plane for morsels, losing her self-respect each time she gnaws on one hunted down. ~reminds me of stray animals and the ache continues.... welcome back and write on! [This message has been edited by kaile (05-31-2003 12:55 PM).] |
||
|
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hello Kaile..... Long time since I've been called Mia.... Thank you so much for the critique and the welcome back. Nice to be remembered. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
