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Critical Analysis #2
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Grim Feelings returned
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Grim Feelings returned |
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Thomas119gold Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708Biloxi, MS (city by the sea) 
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The crowd laughed out loud at the little boy of twelve as he made his way home The little Johnny jokes said and done, at least everyone else had their fun But his future was grim and full of shame for only him No one understood the horrid feeling that was burning within John that day as he kept walking away However they all would find out how fierce he can become when all of the jokes are done He was a loner and knew he need not worry about the loss of a friend for he had only one now she is gone again He was orphaned and left by mom on the street With only ragged clothes and dirty feet Bastard by all regards Some even called him the ugly duckling retard He takes it all in the hate and sin lets it burn waiting for his turn He will not kill or hurt Not John he is a better man then them But he will study and learn then the tables will turn when he owns the town He will hire and fire for the fun of vengeance on everyone and for those that will leave the place for another home he will make sure to follow them then he will own whatever they have worked and gained in their lives His passion will be for them to beg and cry Just like he did today when they hid his clothes during gym class No longer will he be the Jackass Any Comments or suggestions? [This message has been edited by Thomas119gold (03-10-2003 02:30 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Thomas Goldsworthy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) This is so very heartaching, sweet friend, I believe the best poetry is always the most honest so I don't believe in critiquing! However, I can tell you how it made me feel, as it is sad but true to see so many of our youth brought on by so much abuse and peer pressure and some absorb it too much they too are brought on by it and it only creates heartache and damnation! (sad sigh) This has my vote, sweet friend, my prayers are with the children, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Thomas, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I enjoyed the write of this, very much as a matter of fact. It gets my vote.  |
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carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
I really liked this great for a book Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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ScarletOath New Member
since 2003-04-23
Posts 5Memphis,TN |
I really like, it's well written and it certainly moves you. Definitely has my vote, well done^^ |
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Thomas119gold Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708Biloxi, MS (city by the sea) |
Thank you |
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