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"shame"
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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"shame" |
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inhersilentway New Member
since 2003-03-06
Posts 6fl, us |
i am not bold. as desperate as i am, i would never bare my soul to strangers on the street... tears will fall to ruin in endless paper alleys crammed between college-ruled skycrapers and the backdoors of coloring-book soup kitchens... all night long i can pound the pavement, curse the darkness, and howl at the moon... but no frenetic cry from the hollows of this earthquake i used to call reality could push me from the shadows to the unforgiving light. i am not bold. i merely dream of the day when i could overcome, stand unabashed: vibrant in the stark burning of the day waiting... for thousands of eyes ears thousands of those i have so meticulously misplaced to become one reluctant god, having caught me in myself. |
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| © Copyright 2003 meghan bracken - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi silent and welcome to the forum. Check your email for a special message. Pete |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
hey miss kryptonite. i couldn't resist sending you a card also  .some points: 1 - the excessive length of line 7 make is difficult to read out loud, consider breaking it with at least some puncuation to make it easier on the lips. 2 - unforgiving light, pounding pavement, howling at the moon, and stark burning of the day are all familiar, if not cliched, phrases. it surprises me to see you fall back on such things. 3 - i like the way you equate the thousands thus equating all that you have acquired. thats all for now. its great that you found this place. -majnu |
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