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Critical Analysis #2
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Teen14
Junior Member
since 2003-01-26
Posts 19


0 posted 2003-01-31 10:58 PM


I can't wait till Christmas Day
When all the land is covered white
And little ones wake the elders in the early morning light.
For over a fortnight I've foreseen this
And now am ready for a day of bliss.

I can't till Christmas Day
When not a fragment of the green giant is bear
This is not an exaggeration for its skin can't be seen anywhere.
When the children dance to the joy of the arrival of a man in red and white
Such folklore this is, but my words will be polite.

I can't wait till Christmas Day
When little white fairies dance through the air
And extensive ribbon is found in children's hair
After opening a fragile delight
Then over the gifts they'll fight.
Some will be from mom and dad
Others from that fictitious man in red.

I can't wait till Christmas Day
When our famished selves are fed
From a table that can't be seen from all the ham and bread.
It all smells like a dream
Just an impossible dream.
The aroma of cranberries and gravy filter through the air
As stuffing and corn can be found in children's hair.
Next we won't falter, and we'll eat like giant whales.
We'll keep eating until we've stuffed our tails.

I can't wait till Christmas Day
When the fire is blazing bright
And strings of heat warm us far into the night.
When all of us gather inside the little castle within our house
And sit back to listen to stories on the couch.
Love is now generated all throughout the land
It will keep stirring even when the day seems no longer grand.
Then in our beds we'll curl up the way a feline does and pray
For there's nothing in the world like Christmas Day.


© Copyright 2003 Teen14 - All Rights Reserved
Teen14
Junior Member
since 2003-01-26
Posts 19

1 posted 2003-02-02 08:00 AM


Will someone please critque this poem???


Crazy Eddie
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178

2 posted 2003-02-02 09:38 AM



YES

In my opinion it is full of forced rhyme and inversions; has no clear meter; contains irrational similes; contains too many clichés and doesn’t tell me anything I couldn’t have guessed from the first line.

Teen14
Junior Member
since 2003-01-26
Posts 19

3 posted 2003-02-02 05:52 PM


I understand the whole forst rhyme thing and I'll take a look at that. What the hell are you talking about with the rest? I'm not that educated with these words. Please explain them for me so I understand them better. Thank you.


Crazy Eddie
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178

4 posted 2003-02-02 07:47 PM


http://www.poeticbyway.com/glossary.html
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
5 posted 2003-02-03 12:40 PM


Hey Eddie, thanks for the link. I have been trying to find that site since the name changed from Bob's Byway.

Pete

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