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Critical Analysis #2
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The Dangers of Carrot Racing
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Dangers of Carrot Racing |
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dan wood Junior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 15 |
In a field near Stockton-on-Tees, midst crowds of people and vendors of cheese I stood prepared to build my name, as the greatest racer in the golden game! To the starting line with heart a pounding, I rode my steed with engine sounding The crowd went silent the flag raised high, a tiny bug flew in my eye! Too late to stop and remove the beast, I blinked three times with no release The flag came down and before I knew, the race was on with it all to do! The other drivers through the bend, my sight I thought was on the mend A quick chicane I took with ease but then my eye began to seize! Before I knew I began to find, that due to the bug I was going blind What cruelty of fate on my big day, a poxy insect in my way! So racked with anger and despair, I poked my eye with a wicker chair A foolish choice as I soon found, at a hundred and ten I hit the ground! Now lying in traction with broken back, my thoughts still take me to the track The dream of gold so far away but I’ll live to race another day! The smell of fumes from hot exhausts, are all that occupy my thoughts But six months in bed is what I’m facing and these are the dangers of carrot racing! |
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| © Copyright 2003 dan wood - All Rights Reserved | |||
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
the poem is quite funny, but a couple things seem bland. the race itself has no intensity or real feeling. the part about being traction does not really seem injured as a person in that position might. i would try to unify the syllable count of the lines and settle on a meter. -majnu |
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