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Critical Analysis #2
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The House[Repost from DP]
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The House[Repost from DP] |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I was toying with the idea of writing a poem like this for some time. I am reposting it here to see wheather or not the idea and/or my implementation of it will fly. This old dark room is filled with things that once had life in a world of use. In the centre stands a man with his books surrounding him telling of his life. There in the corner lies an old computer surrounded by a pile of floppies and books. There on the wall is a bookshelf covered in books of poetry and books of photos. If you ask the man what all this was for he'll look at you and tell you he's forgotten. There's a painting sitting on the floor, a young man painting an older man's face. The old man in the centre of the room will never look upon the thing ever again. It is too sacred and it carries with it too much knowledge of the past's fears. The older man stares up from the floor, forever trapped, a look of concern on canvas. Somewhere a candle burns, its precise location is a mystery even to the old man himself. Somewhere in this house lie stairs that lead to a world seldom visited anymore by the man. But I have been there, and there isn't much to tell about, just more paper and books... "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
read with interest firstly to me this isnt poetry. It's a small essay. A work of descrpition,but not poetry. That of course is my opinion which is not support by any depth of learning. secondly i am left mystified.I have a picture clear picture of what you have described but i dont know what i am to draw from it. no doubt on this occasion the faults lie with the reader and not the writer arthur |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I tend to agree with Arthur on this one. It just seems way too wordy for poetry. On the other hand, it would make a good introduction for a short story. I think I would rethink it along those lines except that I have no talent at all for writing short stories. JMHO, Pete |
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