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| Critical Analysis #2 |
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This Chapter |
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rOxXbabY391 Member
since 2002-12-14
Posts 71 |
You said you really liked me But I know that that's not true Because if you truly liked me, you would have done the same for me as I had done for you I was just so stupid, so stupid and nieve To think what i thought, believe what i believed But now I'm done with that chapter That chapter of my book 'Cause I put my glasses on And took a closer look I know now what you stand for Your secrets and your lies The deceptive wall you think no one sees You sit and hide behind But I could see right through it And YOU is all i saw And piece by piece We took down that wall But you put it back together Each time you didn't call So I'm turning the page now, this is done We had our laughs We had our fun But in the end, I got hurt So I'm ending this chapter of my book "I don't think I can make it through one more night. 'Cause how do you answer "What's wrong?" ~ when nothing is right." |
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| © Copyright 2002 Emily Calandrelli - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
What did you think? What did you believe? What's your book entitled? What were his secrets and lies? As is, your poem seems kind of like a Mad Libs, sort of a fill in the blank. I don't like to supply details, I think that's the writer's job. Your best bet is to think of exactly what you are trying to convey, and specify your poem based on that intent. Hope I've helped. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
The narrator is hurt, feels an injustice has been committed, and leaves someone who has already left. The wall isn't between the narrator and the object of narration, it's between the reader and the writer here. Don't write around what happened, write something that makes something happen. |
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