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Critical Analysis #2
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Life is not easy
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Life is not easy |
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quik Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91Dinwiddie,Virginia |
The way through life's not easy, The track is rutted and worn, And we're on this path till the day we die From the moment that we are born. The road climbs uphill all the way, Or so it often seems, And we will never reach our goals, Realize our dreams. When you think that it's not worth the candle, Before you snuff out the light, Remember that magical future's still there, Though, at times, may be clouded from sight, And many a footstep has traveled this way. So take heart from those gone before, Hold your head high, take a deep breath, And put your foot forward once more. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Antonio Duran Weary - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Joe Houck Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324california |
I liked the first stanza very much. The last line however seemed a bit choppy with saying “And we will never reach our goals, Realize our dreams.” By simply putting an “ing” at the end of “Realize our dreams”, it connects the two lines in a more fluent and understanding way. Or you could even just put an “or” before “Realize” “And we will never reach our goals, Realizing our dreams.” “And we will never reach our goals, or Realize our dreams.” Overall a good poem....I enjoyed it -Joe- |
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Epicrean Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 16 |
Reminded me of a Frost poem we all know so well... Great work I enjoyed the last stanza and found the first one off beat and wnadering where as the last one tied everything together neatly! Epicrean |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
The first line is not grammatically correct: It’s an improper use of possession. You see it used frequently, especially in conversation, but it should read The way through life is not easy, The last four lines of the first stanza give the impression that a person will never reach our goals or dreams. I don’t think this is what you intended. Try this instead, and see if it comes closer to a more philosophical purism: The road climbs uphill all the way, Or so it often seems, And we will never reach our goals, Realize our dreams. to: The road climbs uphill all the while So often it does seem that we never do reach our goals or realize our dreams. or something to that effect. Overall, this is a fine poem with a pleasant cadence and thoughtout lines. JkF |
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