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Critical Analysis #2
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mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

0 posted 2002-08-14 03:42 PM


This is actually three poems in one. The right side of the ~ and the left side each are seperate poems but I tried to make them flow together as one, as well. I don't know what type of poem this would be.. so if someone knew, I'd be very glad if they could share it. It's my first time writing a poem like this, so I'd appreciate some advice on how I could perhaps make this piece better. I know the rhyme seems a bit forced. This is actually my first time making an entire poem rhyme. Also if there's any meter in it at all, it was completely accidental and I'm sure it's nowhere near being consistent.
Dreams are cursed throughout the night ~ Seeing nothing but blue
Brought on by visions seen in the light ~ Where everything rolls into view
Taking over every thought ~ Finally surrendering in the end
Though one could say the battle was hard fought ~ But becomes a game of pretend.
Cursed or blessed ~ Enjoyment sometimes brought.
And occasionally missed ~ When the forbidden images are sought.
Seen through the eyes of few ~ Understood by less
Always tormented until the morning's hue ~ Usually creating in one's head a confused mess.
When friends close at hand ~ Learn of the pleasing torture
Grow larger than the land ~ And become tempted by its lure
Fears and yet pleasures can be found ~ Much like a golddigger's find
Always to these dreams will the present and future be bound ~ Never to be erased or ignored in the memories of one's mind.


As a side note this was written in response to a dream that a friend told me about. You know the scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where the girl gets turned into a blueberry? Well I guess he was forced to watch that one too many times and had a dream about that scene. Perhaps it will make more sense now.

Search too deeply and you might fall in.

© Copyright 2002 Stephanie Harmon - All Rights Reserved
Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648

1 posted 2002-08-15 03:11 PM


Your very interesting poem caused me to write the following verses.

        Dreams


Dreams are curses of the night
Scenes of everything once true.
Vagrant Visions of dark lights  
Of nothingness which comes to view.
They Saturate my every thought.
I beg for dawn to bring an end
Of battles that have been hard-fought  
Although their essence is pretend.

Bliss the glaring morning brings.
Yet I occasionally miss  
Forbidden images I wrought
Seen by few but known by less.


I was tormented so I fought--
Creating in my mind a mess.

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